Sunday, June 25, 2017

My week in parking ...

MONDAY
Chach, who had spent Sunday learning the fine art of a sick day, refused to eat her morning yogurt. It seemed to be a standoff, a battle of wills, until I noticed she had turned green sitting at the kitchen table.
"Are you going to barf?" I asked her and she nodded.
"Alright," I said, we have wood floors. "Just let it go."
She barfs so infrequently that each event has its own special story that we trot out on occasion for a chuckle. There was The Rage Barf, where she filled the folds of her dress -- and our car -- with chunks of pizza because we had made her to leave a parking lot carnival; Then there was the one where she simply sent a watery spray straight into my face and I still chose to love her forever.
On Monday, it was like she was waiting for permission. She emitted two foamy streams.
The last bit, she held onto in her mouth.
"She needs to spit that out," Chuck said, so I leaned her over the sink and she hawked it down the drain.
I texted the Norwegian Wonder that Our Pet Monkey was sick, we would be keeping her at home. I went to work for a while, used Chuck's parking spot, then came home at midday and passed off the garage door opener to him.
PARKING ON MONDAY: Free

TUESDAY
I parallel parked with ease -- not another car on the block -- and plugged a quarter into the meter. It had been a little sticky, plugging it in, so I added another. That one, too, stuck. I gave the meter a little poke and the word FAIL popped up on the display.
FAIL? Not for me, City of Duluth. I call it an UNFAIL.
PARKING ON TUESDAY: .50

WEDNESDAY
I'm no dummy. I slid right into the same old FAIL spot for another round of free parking. When something like this happens, you do have to tap into heightened awareness. They will find other ways to getchya. They'll chalk your tires to make sure you don't extend a two hour stay or they'll fix the meter and then give you a ticket. You have to be cool, man, and be on guard.
PARKING ON WEDNESDAY: Free

THURSDAY
JCrew sent me a text. One our coworkers was on vacation, she told me. His spot was open and was allll mine.
PARKING ON THURSDAY: Free

FRIDAY
Chuck doesn't work on Fridays, so I always use his spot.
PARKING ON FRIDAY: Free.

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