Saturday, September 5, 2015

Vacation Day One: No dignity ...

On the first day of vacation we woke up very late, probably because we were overserved cedar gin on the eve of the first day of vacation. By me. I overserved us. There we were, zombied out on vintage "Master Chef," and leisurely sipping when I suggested one more drink to KEEP THE NIGHT ALIVE NEVER SAY DIE, NIGHT. (And then there was another.)*

Also, I'd accidentally turned off the Toddler Monitor, so I wasn't awoken by the chirpy version of "Let it Go" that usually sounds from the room down the hall. So we ate breakfast at lunchtime and lunch at late-lunchtime and after Chuck made us very delicious Tempeh Reubens**, the world felt a little more bearable. I had the opportunity to create a new state of mind: Hangxiety: hangover-induced anxiety.

I met Chuck and Chacha in the Rose Garden and we coaxed the girl into her stroller with the promise of train viewings and horse sightings. Then we wound our way to Bayfront Festival Park for Pride Fest. Chacha, Bounce House curious, couldn't pull the trigger on this balloon-shaped fun factory. She was on the threshold when she began flapping her hands no-no-no:

"I too little," she said.

She fell asleep millimeters from the car, lost her mind when we transferred her to the carseat and then was rewarded with a $1.11 ice cream cone from McDonalds.

I put gas in my car.
Chuck bought the makings for ramen.
I ran back into the store and bought eggs and after we got home I went back to the store to get broth.
We ate delicious foods and my nose ran from chili sauce abuse.

I changed into my pajamas while Chuck laid on the bed and suddenly I became aware that I was performing a robotic dance version of the classic song "No Diggity." In my head I looked cool. Sort of retro. My moves felt fresh.

Chuck showed me what my face looked like. Ouch.

So I Dubsmashed it and it looked like a lost scene from "Beetlejuice." I fired it off to Fannie. Her anniversary is tomorrow, so she deserves nice things. So far: No response.

"More like 'No Dignity,'" Chuck said.

Now: Tube Time.

* Still not sure who was booted from Season 5, Episode 6.
** These sandwiches are, without a doubt, the heroes of The Summer of 2015.

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