Monday, April 27, 2015

Like, not at all ...

ChaCha was in the Atomic Lounge and she crawled under the computer desk to wrestle up this red sweatband that was originally purchased for 1.) an adult human to wear 2.) with a thigh length jersey and roller blades as a Halloween costume/excuse to wear roller blades to the bar. She slipped it over her wrist and we went downstairs.

"Okay," I told her. "It's time to go see The Drummers. Go find your coat."

We slipped her into the fleece and zipped it and she raised her arm and squawked. I dug up the arm of her jacket and pulled off the wrist guard. She took it back from me and slipped it back on, over the outside of the jacket.

Because it's Homegrown Music Fest week+1 day, I guess, and even the toddlers feel the tug toward eccentricities? Anyway, she wasn't the only person I saw wearing a sweatband in my travels.


This is so boring, but it happened and it consumed me and I'm forever changed: On Friday night, after pulling my first 7-mile run in eons, I received a FitBit Challenge from Brother Pista who invited me to a weekend-long step off.

You know the gist: Who can cover the most steps on Saturday and Sunday. Whatever.

It was bad timing since I'd already done my long run for the week. (I'm testing this new thing called Training for a Half-Marathon. It's not as sexy as not-training and pulling every human muscle on race day, but I'm older now and much less colorful than I was last summer in my youth.) But I agreed because ... contest.

Then I got another invite for another weekend-long step off by an old friend who was once the arm wrestling champion of The Pioneer Bar. If I close my eyes, I can still see the barbed-wire tattoo on her upper arm bulging with victory. I agreed to that one because I was already going to be shooting for big numbers, so why not.

You're probably wondering, so: It's 650 steps around our block.

So within 24 hours, after I'd gone for a 4-mile run, walked around the block about 6 times and closed out the night with a quick 15-minute session on the elliptical, I realized that Brother Pista was out of contention but that his friend Todd was going to be a thorn in my Nikes. And Old Daisy was primed to, metaphorically, bust my ulna.

I forgot I was like this.

As midnight neared, I found myself doing six-block loops in downtown Duluth. This morning I woke up and it was over and I won't keep you in suspense. I won both challenges. But I was a little embarrassed. Like, why was I on an elliptical at midnight on a Saturday night? Why do I have to win this thing that ultimately just gets us all in better shape? Anyway. I took like 45,000 steps over the weekend. I want to say that's more than 20 miles.

I can probably retire now from competitive stepping.


Me: Hi. I just went through your drive through and ordered a lentil bowl and when I got home, the broth was all over the floor of my car and I'm super pissed off about it.
Manager: Ohhh, yeah. I'm sorry about that. Our lids are really unreliable.
Me: ...
Manager: What would you like us to do for you?
Me: I want you to reimburse me for my meal and I want you to put something on your menu that says 'Our lids are unreliable.'

A few other things of note:
1. Super obsessed with "The Good Wife." I'm just starting Season 3. Super secret truth: A few days ago I purposefully dressed the closest I could get to a Kalinda outfit given the limitations of my closet.
2. Can't stop reading "Born to Run."
2a. Thinking of becoming a trailrunner slash ultramarathoner after this year's half-marathon. I like the idea of always having smears of mud on my calves. Subject to change.
3. I can't have more than two hobbies at a time and one hobby will always be sleep so right now I'm not writing a novel at all.

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