Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Bright white blue ...

The Norwegian Wonder regularly sends me a bunch of photos from how the day was spent.
Here's one of my favorites from today at Enger Park. 
I overslept today. Like, majorly overslept. I overslept like a guy with a beard and mustard stains. I overslept like someone who is later seen carrying a cardboard box out of a cubicle. I overslept like beginning of a montage in a rom-com.

We were up late-ish watching "Transparent." We went one episode too far, then I chased it with like 20 pages of the Cronenberg.

I woke up at 7:57 a.m., peed, and decided to snuggle in for one more minute of quality Zzzs before my alarm went off. Then it never went off. I woke because the battery on the baby monitor was beeping -- and hour and a half later.

"Whoa!" I yelled, waking Chuck, who matched my "Whoa!" with his own.
I found The Girl sitting quietly in her crib holding her stuffed dog.

***

I was scrubbing the bathtub with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser, thinking about what I'd Tweet if I was more active on Twitter.

Something, something, Magic Eraser, I thought, struggling to find the right declarative words to match my enthusiasm for this product. I mean, this thing is literally magic. The tub was starting to look like I'd just painted it bright whitish blue.

Then I started thinking: What if I was that kind of blogger. Like, the kind who said sassy things about my Magic Eraser like "Seriously, you guys. I'm totally scribbling Mr. Clean all over my Trapper Keeper." Or, "I'm not sure what's in the recipe for a Magic Eraser, but I'd give up margaritas forever for the answer. Just kidding! But kinda not. Just kidding. Maybe. Ish."

And what if I had a blog catch phrase, like, "It's Wine O'Clock Somewhere!"

I'd be a regular guest on "Ellen" and I'd be like "What time is it?" and the audience would say "Wine O'Clock!" and I'd say, "Did you say Wine-Thirty?!" and everyone would laugh and boo. And then finally we'd all say in unison:

"It's Wine O'Clock Somewhere!"

And then Ellen would dance.

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