Last weekend I clipped some coups, filed them in my [DISGUSTING, ALBEIT CONVENIENT, NEIGHBORHOOD GROCERY STORE] envelope, and put them in my purse where they have burned with inactivity. Until today. I finally got my chance to earn some sweet savings. Diced tomatoes, Town House crackers, orange juice, more.
I found an open checkout lane just as I was double checking my grocery list on my grocery list app. Oh, I forgot Bread. I unloaded my cart, muttered something not quite apologetic, dragged my grocery cart with a sleeping baby to the wall of bread 10 feet away and got back just as the cashier was finishing the transaction.
"Oh. You need split top wheat bread, not seven grain, to use this coupon," she said.
I dragged the cart and sleeping baby back to bread wall, found the coup-friendly bread, and when I got back I had to squeeze past a guy who had gotten into line behind me (even though I wasn't there to be behind) and the rest unfolded without incident.
"Kind of new to the whole 'Coupon Thing,'" I said, heartily. I think I included the air quotes.
The cashier gave zero shits.
Reader, I saved $15 and had a chance to be that asshole who completed her shopping while a line built behind her. Powerful. On top of that, I can't guarantee I didn't nick the guy's heels with my aggressive maneuvering of my cart. Sometimes I look at a situation and I say: "I choose to not be meek here." That's what happened today.
I carried grocery bags, Target bags and a car seat with a sleeping baby over snowy terrain and into the house, all the while wondering if I should be doing more arm wrestling in my free time. Once inside, I began unloading the goods only to realize ...
I'D LEFT THE BREAD AT THE STORE. (With, like, six apples).
Note: Know who else doesn't care that you're "New to this whole" (air quotes) "couponing thing"? The woman at the service counter, who shows you pages and pages of dummies who have paid for groceries and then left them in the store.
Double note: I did this all while wearing Leggings as Pants.