Monday, July 1, 2013

It's Sunday and I'm Boring: The Fresh Prince Edition ...

I sleep until nearly noon. No, really. It's like my bladder saw me sleeping, thought, "she looks so peaceful. I just can't bear to wake her," and entertained itself for an extra four hours. I'm greeted by a photo sent to me by Ma Pista in the early morning hours. She wonders if I think the PGB will look anything like this:

Chuck says I still make this face whenever I make a pun. 
***

Chuck outdoes himself, taking his famous scrambled eggs into hyper drive by adding cheese and basil. It just keeps getting better.

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I buy a pair of $9 shoes from Ragstock that would normally be a half-size too big and commit to wearing them, regardless of whether they -- LOL -- look good with what I'm wearing, until my body parts deflate. "This is how it starts," I think, "Function over form." I wonder how long until I get a perm.

***

Then I have shoes on the brain so I'm distracted by a display at the mall. All sorts of flats that don't require the wearer the burden of bending.

"Whatch you got going on today?" the sales girl asks me.
"Excuse me?" I say.
"Whatch you got going on today?" she repeats.
I give her a weird look. What are we? Roommates that haven't advanced yet beyond acquaintance both studying the same cereal box at the breakfast table?
"Just. Looking around?" I say.
"Oh, cool," she says.
And I have to leave. This exchange is brutal and we should all be embarrassed. It's definitely not worth the price of investigating Top Siders. Here is a situation where a "Can I help you with anything" would have made the experience unremarkable and therefore satisfying.

***

"Parents Just Don't Understand" plays on the Adult Contemporary Station during the weekly retro playback of Rick Dees' "Weekly Top 40 80s Edition." I struggle with the verse about clothes shopping, but the one where Fresh Prince steals his mom's Porche, picks up a beautiful girly girl and treats her to a Big Mac and Large Fry at the drive thru is still in an accessible part my head.

I'm a little concerned about the amount of child abuse the Fresh Prince endures after committing this crime.

I think, even though it's been more than two decades, that I am still favor his actions over that of his parents.

Meanwhile, when this episode of the countdown first aired in the 1980s, George Michael was celebrating his 25th birthday, which is amazing to consider, and Michael Hutchence was going to live in Asia for awhile because he preferred it to the United States. The band, however, planned to stay together.

***

I buy a caramel with sea salt and toffee cookie at Barnes & Noble and then drop part of it onto the floor of my car and it's super good so I open the car door, root around on the floor, find the chunk and eat it.

***

The day ends too early for the likes of me. My to-do list still has that new car smell.

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The "It's (Insert Day of Week) and I'm Boring" is a series that Jodi and I do to pay homage to the beauty of old-school blogging. 


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