Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Wherein I lose my ability to hold a narrative thread ...

Me: How long do you think Dijon Mustard, opened, lasts in the refrigerator?
Chuck: Are you asking me, or do you already know?
Me: I know.
Chuck: Six months.
Me: (Slow nod) Interesting. No. See, when I was making that quinoa thing and I had to mix Dijon with water. I'd written on the one in the fridge that it was opened in January. I didn't know if I should use it and I knew we had an unopened Dijon in the cupboard. But that expired in 2012!
Chuck: Was it expired or was that the Best By date?
Me: Doesn't matter. It's still a year ago. ... Anyway, so I look online and ---
Chuck: ?
Me: I just realized this isn't  a story. You know what? Never mind.
Chuck: So ... how long does it last?
Me: Who cares.
Chuck: Just tell me!
Me: A year. (Shrug).
Chuck: Huh.
Me: Chinese mustard lasts two years.

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