Monday, September 10, 2012

Blah Blah Beverage Week: LaCroix Water


A lot of people will tell you that you shouldn't quit meat and immediately start gnawing on soy chorizo.  You have to find delicious vegan meals that stand alone instead staring down a ladle of nutritional yeast-flour-water-Nature's Balance and mustard and saying to it: "Now you are my cheese." I'm not one of those people. I actually really like soy chorizo and globs of fake cheese. But my point is that LaCroix doesn't pretend to be anything more than bubbly flavored water drink and it more than succeeds.

I'd be willing to say that as far as sparkling mineral water goes, it's top shelf. I've steadily made myself through the whole menu of Lemon, Lime, Orange, Grapefruit ... and now Coconut.

This is a controversial flavor. It tastes like sunscreen. The old-school kind of sunscreen people wore back when it was a thing to oil up, lean back in a plastic lounge chair, and wait for a sun saute. It's the taste that stuck in your fingernails after a day at the beach. Chuck, my drinking partner, thinks this is a bad thing. Me, I love it.

Although I recently was in a situation where I smelled what this flavor tastes like and meant to jot down the trigger.

"Gah," I said to Chuck. "What was that?"
"Your conditioner?" he asked.
"Oh," I said. "Yes."

Still: My verdict remains that LaCroix cannot fuck up a flavor.

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