Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Sausage party ...

We went on vacation to Minneapolis, which sounds like pretty much the dumbest thing ever. It's just Minneapolis. It's only two hours away. A lot of people in Duluth treat it like it's our big backyard playground. But when Chuck and I have time off together, we tend to take trip-trips to places with different fauna. We've overlooked Minneapolis as a travel destination. Aside from parking there to go somewhere else, we just don't really go there. So we went on vacation to Minneapolis. 

But! Before we went on vacation in Minneapolis, we went to brunch in Delta, Wisconsin. The Delta Diner is, like, nowhere. It's about an hour away, past some resorts, through trees and a dogleg to the right. It's a shiny-meets-retro hybrid.

The servers go through the entire menu of these really cool and quirky meals that are like french toast stuffed with dessert cheeses or meats that marinated for 27 hours. I had a take on Eggs Benedict that is two eggs served over cornbread with a chorizo sauce and then my mouth moonwalked and did a backspin.

Then we stopped at a mini flea market in Iron River where I bought a $6 green glass ring and listened to the locals deconstruct the previous night's street dance. (Seems like they had fun).

Then, the next day we went on vacation to Minneapolis.

On Sunday we went to dinner at Birdhouse and ate super delicious foods on the upper deck of what seems to be an old house-turned-restaurant. This was very pleasant and Chuck accidentally mentioned the fact that the first two days of vacation have been so great, and ... 

Then the car wouldn't start.

It skipped the sick groan of a car struggling to start and just played dead. In a mad panic, I busted out a winter question to a guy parked behind us: "Do you have jumper cables?" I saw his face say yes and his brain second-guess that response and then his soul over-rode his brain and made him spit out "Yes," against his will. But he never pretended to be happy about it. (Understandable). He turned his car around to the front of ours, connected the cables, gave it about 13 seconds to fire up, seemed antsy, gave it about another minute and it still didn't work.

"I just don't think --" he said. 
We agreed and he zipped away. 

Then I called for a tow truck. We were told it would be a 30 minute wait. So we stood next to the car and searched the horizon for tow trucks for an hour and a half, a little longer, before calling the guy back and telling him that we'd moved the car to his colon and that's where he could send the tow truck. Although it sounded more like this: "You know what? We don't need you anymore. It's just taking too long." 

Eventually we were saved by QT, who had the car up and running in no time. We drove it around awhile to really make sure the charge took, then proceeded to get funny on a small and delicious amount of beer at the Local. 

Un-charcuterie Plate with Wild Boar Sopprassata

Golden Beets and Arugula
Something Something Lemon Curd Yum
I went swimming in the hotel pool and found it seemingly empty, save for some discarded clothing and a purse. I was about torso deep when a young couple came out of the sauna. He dove into the water, she sat on the edge and then slowly made her way into the water for some synchronized whatever. 

I did my best to stay away from them, which was hard because they didn't give a shit that I was in there with them while they did whatever young couples do in water. Half make out, half splash, some chasing, lots of grab ass. Finally I got bored of trying to stay out of their version a Chris Isaac video  so I sat in the sauna and then left. 

Back in the hotel room I told Chuck about the scene and he said: "I guess I'll let you sit by me, even if you were swimming in boner water." 

(I've since written a song about it sung to the tune of "The Lion Sleeps Tonight." It's gotten some pretty bad reviews, but I think it's a nice start. IF ONLY BLOGGER ALLOWED AUDIO UPLOADS!). 

We took the bus to Uptown to go to Magers & Quinn and to try to find a romper at Urban Outfitters (to further complete my transformation into a woman of many costumes). 

That night we met Fannie and her date at Butcher and the Boar for patio dining. Much meat was consumed and many stories of ill-conceived trips around the country were shared. Wine was spilled and eventually we tottered across the street and Chuck and I drank like we were on vacation. CHRISSIE and QT joined the four of us. 

Usually when I drink a lot I'm very self conscious of the fact that I'm drinking a lot and speaking in chapters. This time I just felt fun and festive and when someone mentioned I was hammered I looked around the table and everyone nodded. 

Still, I forged on. 

"We're on vacation," I told the waitress every time I ordered a beer. Which is why we can never go back. 

When our adult friends who had to work in the morning left, we ordered another meal. 

Lobster Grilled Cheese (with egg) "I always order 'with egg' if given the option," Chuck says.

Wild Boar Hot Sausage

Fried Green Tomatoes

On Tuesday we explored all of the ways to exorcise demon booze from one's system. This included canceling the day's activities in favor of a "Friends" marathon and a Do Not Disturb sign. I swore off booze for the rest of my life and wished I wasn't still tasting meat; Chuck decided his favorite Friend is Joey. 
We tested the car that afternoon and it was dead again. We took a bus to Napa and bought a battery. We took a bus back from Napa and Chuck carried it the last half mile back to the hotel. (I tried to carry it for awhile, but he couldn't handle the look on my face -- "Gizmo when they spilled water on him and the other mogwais popped out of his back" -- and just carried it himself). We walked to Target to buy tools. We went back to the hotel and watched videos about replacing car batteries. Then I read 75 percent of a pretty awful book. 
We had a midnight appetizer fest at Barrio and were asleep earlier than I've ever been asleep in my life. 


Chuck replaced the car battery in the hotel ramp. I held things like flashlights, nuts, bolts. It was all very fascinating and easy. Still, impressive. Then the car even worked. We'll probably just build our next car from scratch. 

We went to the Walker and saw an 80s exhibit that included a photograph of buffalo leaping to their death, a piece by a woman who hired a private investigator to tail her for a day, and a Robert Mapplethorpe photograph that challenged everything I thought I knew about anatomy. ("It's uncircumcised," Chuck whispered, right before I giggled my way into the next gallery. I thought it was just wearing a leather pouch).

We stopped at a massive comic book store in Roseville, then cruised home just in time for the start of Spirit Valley Days. 

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