Sunday, June 3, 2012

How I spent my weekend ...

1. It was, like, really hard to start the lawn mower. I had to channel bus-parked-on-a-loved-ones-chest levels of strength. And afterward I looked around to see if anyone saw me do it. Unfortunately, it went unobserved.

2. I wish I could have just ignored the fresh mound of dog shit in our yard, but instead I imagined mowing over it and having a sort of forgot-to-put-the-top-on-the-blender moment. So I wrapped plastic baggies around it and accidentally got poop on my finger. I pulled a dry-heaving sprint to the sink. This did not go unobserved.

3. I harvested a bunch of rhubarb and made a delicious rhubarb dessert using ingredients we already had on hand, which always feels very adult-y. As does stealing into the kitchen in the middle of the night to eat ice cream in the light of the freezer.

4. I ate Drunken Noodles from Thai Krathong, which was like a snot-letting for my ear, nose and throat passages. And, in ordering the special, earned our server free dinner because it was the fifth special sold that night. As a thank-you, he let us try his dinner.

5. Sang just about every song in my karaoke repertoire in the West Duluth Entertainment District. Found a former classmate of Chuck's who would not be opposed to, hypothetically, cleaning dead squirrels from someone's attic. Then Chuck sang "Gin and Juice" and brought down the bar. A kid from a nearby table said "These songs must be from your era, huh?"

6. Came home and continued the festivities. Learned I can no longer do things like a back walkover. Had to redeem myself with a cartwheel in the front yard. I can still do a cartwheel.

7. So much muscle pain today. And rib cage pain. And lawn mower arm pain. And a strange palm bruise.

8. Jammed with the a faction of the live band I'll be spending two minutes on stage with on Wednesday. Last night's episode in the entertainment district wiped the lyrics out of my brain. I was told that even Ozzy Osbourne, especially Ozzy Osbourne, forgets the lyrics. I feel a little like Ozzy Osbourne today.

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