Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Mystery sweatshirt crust ...

Boy is this a bugger. On this page you will find some kitchen inventions and a case of mistaken identity ala is that cat barf? You will see evidence of my fondness for Japanese literature and watch me go AP English all over "Persepolis," the MOVIE.

Anyway, here is what I made, watched and read this past week. And some senseless photos.


Stuffed Peppers with Rice and PVC: I love stuffing things into peppers. It's like my hobby. This time it was this mix of basmati rice, onions and garlic, ground fake meat-stuff, grated carrot and a green pepper. It was good! But it also falls into that category we invented called "Starving for Dinner." This is what happens when dinner actually makes a person hungrier.

Oyster Cracker Crave Killer: I am a slave to crave and ridiculously open to suggestion. (This is why I always end up painting my nails "Pretty Little Liars" Purple on Friday nights and why Amazon Recommendations is my favorite way to stare blankly at a screen).

1. Friend posts status update about oyster crackers.
2. I start thinking about oyster crackers.
3. I simultaneously start thinking about this warm robe and that cold air I'd have to travel through to get the stuff to make oyster crackers, namely crackers and seasoning.
4. THEN! I get genius and wizard-like!
5. I find a recipe for a how to make a version of the Hidden Valley Ranch seasoning preferred by people who like oyster crackers and I MAKE IT IN MY KITCHEN!
7. Crave over. Still in robe.

Tuska's Thai Chili: My friend Tuska passed along her crowd-pleaser from a recent chili party. This is a mix of like everything in the world: Red and green peppers, kidney beans, broth, lentils, tomatoes, sweet potatoes, coconut milk, red curry paste, onions, garlic, every seasoning in the cupboard. Then add fresh squeezed lemon and top with peanuts. Good stuff!

Fake Taco Casserole: I invented this little mess using a recipe for vegan stuffed shells that had a photo so sexy and I was so hungry that I couldn't resist it. Unfortunately, there weren't shells at the store, so I had to improvise.

So: Take boca fake meat crumbles, sautee with onion.
Make noodles. I used Penne!
Mix fake meat with some enchilada sauce and taco seasoning and fake cream cheese.
Spread salsa and more enchilada sauce in a casserole dish.
Add meat and noodles and mix it up.
Sprinkle Daija on it.
Cover with tinfoil and bake for like a half hour, then remove tinfoil and bake longer.
Eat and reminisce fondly about grade school hot lunch.
Argue the merits of mom's goulash.

Tofurkey Feast: I've been a bit Tofurkey curious. The co-op has this box, a sort of MRE, called Tofurkey Feast that I keep looking at and thinking about. It seems like it calls for an event. And it's expensive, so I had to make sure I really wanted it. Chuck talked me into it when he said it probably is enough food to make a few meals. We decided it would be our Valentine's Day dinner. (When I bought it I told the cashier that I was tofurkey curious and she told me she gags when she thinks about fake meat).

It comes with an X. A sort of shrink-wrapped fake wishbone. You have to REALLY suspend your disbelief to imagine it as a wishbone. It tastes like jerky. Or, as Chuck said, a dog treat.

"I didn't get my wish," he said.
"I wished this would taste good."

Anyway, I'm going to say that I probably don't need to eat this again. At first it was charming: THE WHOLE HOUSE SMELLS LIKE TURKEY! And then it got gross: THE WHOLE HOUSE SMELLS LIKE HOT TOFU WEARING TURKEY BODY SPRAY!

And the chocolate cake that comes with it needed frosting. 
And, Orin was laying on Chuck's chest. Chuck pushed him off quickly, thinking the cat had barfed on him, but really it was just some tofurkey stuck to his chest. 

First JCrew and I looked Green ... 

... then we moved a few inches and turned blue. 

Persepolis: I loved the graphic novels, but I think I liked the movie more. The protagonist's precocious side comes through in a more endearing way. And the movie, about 98 percent black and white animation, is mesmerizing.

Battle Royale: The Novel by Koushun Takami: Forty-two students trapped on an island. They must kill each other off and be the last one standing. This one inspired all sorts of daymares about what I would do in this situation. Answer: Hide high and hide far. Wait it out. Big time.

Full review here.

Stay Awake: Stories by Dan Chaon: This collection of short stories was mostly good. I haven't had a chance to think about it yet. When I do though, THOSE THOUGHTS WILL BE HERE.

I loved this piece by poet/ballet dancer Lightsy Darst that was on MN Artists. It was shared on Facebook by a friend. For as dark as parts of this are, the way it is written makes my bun twitch with dancer envy.

And this is my new favorite treat in my Google Reader. Composite sketches of characters from books, including Aomame from 1Q84.



Futbol said...

uh jeremy irons looked way more like humbert humbert than THAT big-eyed loser.

tamg said...

Now I want oyster crackers AND popcorn!