Monday, January 9, 2012

Eight things I did on Saturday ...

1. I read a book in its entirety. I did it for all those people out there who "wish they had more time to read." It was like a 5K for people battling beeturia, except it was reading for people who are too busy to read. I read through coffee, lunch and a bath. I read through bed sores and brushes with blindness. I risked coming out of the whole thing having adopted the author's accent. And I did it for you.

2. I went to Target to critique Converse's Winter Collection. There is no such thing as a too many dresses made of sweatshirt material. Instead I bought the cats an industrial strength scratching post that is earning rave reviews from Orin and is not nearly as awesome of a hobby as serial murdering a stuffed mouse with a bell attached, according to Hal.

3. I heard a woman at Barnes & Noble say to a man: "You just can't buy a paperback for less than $15 these days." To which he replied "I know."

4. Chuck and I went on a dinner date to Tycoons where I had the Duluth Cheese Steak with something called "Epic Cheese Sauce." Chuck described a scene in which he rides up on a dirt bike, skids to a halt and then flashes the hang loose sign while saying "Epic Cheese Sauce." The restaurant is so new they didn't even have dessert yet.

5. We walked 50 paces down the block to another restaurant, Zeitgeist, and ran into tens of people we know. We split Flourless Chocolate Cake and it was probably the best dessert I've had in weeks. It was a dense concentration of cool chocolate, like sucking all the air out of chocolate frosting, compressing it, and then eating it.

6. We got to the Incline Station in time for a single game of bowling. I finished in fifth place and won a wonky feeling in one of my bowling fingers and my thumb. Chuck, who insisted on being named Ace for the game, finished in sixth place. I only wanted to beat JCrew, tried to bring her down with big talk about college varsity track and athleticism, and then I lost to her so we'll never talk about this ever again.

7. We watched "Super 8" which was way better than the movie "New Year's Eve." It's like "Goonies" and "Stand By Me" and touches of "ET," if ET was a couple skyscrapers taller and more tuned into electricity.

8. I finally shut down the fun factory at about 5:30 a.m., then slept until 2:45 p.m.

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