Thursday, November 10, 2011

Funny porn for smart people ...

In November of 2006 Chuck and I had been dating for about a month and we both decided to write a novel during NaNoWriMo. He was working on a piece of Sci/Fi; I was writing in the genre "Funny Porn for Smart People."

We both had commitments that kept us from seeing each other until about midnight every day, but were lucky to not have any commitments that required us to wake up early in the morning. This was a golden era. And by golden era, I mean more amber era. And by era I mean black-out state.

One night around 2 a.m. we were doing whatever young couples in the throes of new romance do -- probably staring deep into each other's eyes and whispering "Do you believe in magic?" -- and he kicked me out. He kicked me out so he could "work on his novel."

I was stunned. My pride bruised. "Work on his novel?" I thought. I knew I should have found myself one of those khaki-clad 9-5ers who spend Sundays covered in jerk sauce and screaming about defense. "Work on his novel." Grr.

Chuck will tell you that I pulled a passive-aggressive move that night. That we had been laying there trying to decide how to whittle away at the midnight hours and that I had said, hoping to be contradicted, "Do you want me to leave so you can work on your novel?" And that he hadn't realized it was a fake statement and had taken the bait. Chuck has never been good at gaming. Thank goodness. Gaming is dumb.

I still like to bring up this story, which has been condensed down to "Remember that time you kicked me out of your apartment so you could 'Work on your novel?'" (It would be funny to tell that girl in the car, the one with hurt feelings, that in 2011 he wouldn't be able to kick me out because my mail comes to the same address as his and that he counts on me to saute his kale).

Anyway, a few nights ago we dug up the computer I was using to write the Funny Porn for Smart People. I never finished it because the computer crashed on me about 14 chapters into the project. We got it turned on long enough for me to secure the first two chapters.

Let me tell ya. That's not Funny Porn for Smart People. It's just porn-porn. Chuck didn't finish his novel either. Once he realized it was possible to write 50,000 words in a month the project lost its appeal.

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