Chuck and I were playing "What if (certain caliber of celebrity) walked in here right now without pants on."
When Jason Bateman, who I always think is the closest thing I have to a celebrity crush, was mentioned I realized that I don't really like-like Jason Bateman. I have a lot of thoughts about Jason Bateman but the gist is that many, many years ago his picture was hanging in my fort. And since that day, he has never done anything to skeeve me out like some of his fellow wall decorations -- a list that includes Kirk Cameron and Corey Haim.
Still a pantless Jason Bateman isn't what I'm looking for.
"You just want to walk down the street with him holding cups from Starbucks," Chuck said.
Which is close.
What I really want is for Jason Bateman to laugh at one of my jokes, put his arm around me and tell me I'm funny.
But I digress. Here is what I made, watched and ate this past week. The making was better than the watching or reading.
Spicy Creole Cauliflower Salad: This was so super good. Cauliflower, onion, faro, black eye peas, soy sausages and a bunch of spices all mixed up together to make this so flavor-filled salad.
Meanwhile, on the same website there was a trick where you take frozen bananas, almond milk and powdered chocolate, run it through the food processor for something a bit like soft serve. Ours was more like chocolate gruel, but chocolate gruel is better than no gruel. I'd make it again.
Hot Tamale Burgers: These kind of fake burgers were a mix of rice, onions, peppers, corn and cornmeal and we put the little buggers on the George Foreman grill and then ate them in corn tortillas with avocado and it was good.
Soyrizo Stuffed Peppers: This is soy chorizo, onions, rice, garlic, and sprinkled with a vegan cheese mix. Then they are baked. They are really good. They do not a meal make. This would be a delicious hangover blend.
Battle: Los Angeles: This movie was so dumb, so predictable and so Armageddon that I didn't even care that the Netflix disc was damaged and I couldn't finish watching it. And I certainly didn't even think about licking the disc to fix it.
Cedar Rapids: Also dumb. My body has an adverse response to Ed Helms' face for some reason.
The Astral: A Novel by Kate Christensen: Aside from that, The Astrallives up to its billing as a summer read. Harry Quirk is an old-school poet who hasn’t done much in recent years. His fiery wife Luz kicks him out of their home because she suspects he has been diddling his longtime best friend, who is recently widowed. He actually hasn’t been, but since he has had an indiscretion in his past there is no way to convince Luz otherwise.
Full review is here.