Thursday, January 6, 2011

How I burned the eff out of a finger and a thumb ...

Remove casserole dish filled with roasted root vegetables from 500 degree oven using two pot holders. Set it on stove.

"Remember that time I just took the lid off and burned myself?" Chuck asks.

Give him crazy look. Why wouldn't you just lift the lid off? It's not like the metal loop conducts heat?

Reach for lid. Lift. Hear the sizzle of fried flesh. It sounds like backstage at a diner. Look at Chuck in alarm.

"Why did you do that?" he asks

Stare at hand, dumb founded.

"I don't know. I thought you could do that." 

"You need to get cold water on that."

Blindly run hand under cold water for three minutes while crying into sink. This is visually interesting. Retreat to bedroom with throbbing pointer and thumb. Pain subsides. Finger pads numb. Matching dents in these fingers.

"I think I lost my fingerprints."

"You should probably go on a jewelry heist. Or become a cat burglar."

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