Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Quitter. Maybe. ...

For all of you sitting at home wondering where I stand on Week 9ish of Garry Bjorklund Half-Marathon training, I have an important announcement:

I, Pista-face, am not going to run it.

Unless! Unless sometime in the next three weeks I manage to pull a 5-miler out of my ass, and run it at an acceptable pace. "Acceptable," of course being a very gray area that accommodates a full-fledged limp set to a banshee yelp soundtrack.

I have a whole fleet of not-very athletic reasons why I think I might not run, a list that includes a lung curdling cold on Week 3 that spilled into Week 4 and then that wretched Homegrown Music Fest, which always mucks up anything not directly related to PBR and hippies going apeshit on ukes. Then there was Los Angeles, where I ran once on a treadmill built for walking and felt like the precious chunky preteen blundering through gym class (who will someday, however, blossom into a lovely woman) in a made-for-TV movie about diet pills and the horrors of sorority life.

I went inline skating yesterday on the Munger Trail, which was meh. A father on a Sunday bike cruise, yanking a toddler around on a little trailer made so much wind when he passed me, that I almost biffed on his hearty wake. Slow going. And not very far. If I can't even comfortably skate 10 miles, I should definitely consider donating my ankle bones to science, like, right now.

I don't want to not run it. I have just a shade too much pride for that. I just remember that feeling last year at Mile 4 of being totally over asphalt, Asics, Dixie Cups and smell of chafing cream at its boiling point. How I knew deep down that if I took four more strides, I might give birth to my own uterus on Scenic Hwy 61. How my guts felt like I'd swabbed them with Brawny.

That's. Not. Fun.

Of course, there is that Jenny O turkey sandwich at the finish line. And Dipping Dots really only taste good through a heavy mouth paste. And the insufferable "wearing of a finishers medal" for the next three days. And the excuse to make as much smell in one single pair of tube socks.

So confused.


Mach1 said...

I am teetering on the brink of quitting right there with you. Everything below my knees aches. I need to figure out if I am just being a baby and can tough it out or if my shins are really ready to splinter.

Whiskeymarie said...

As a form of solidarity, I am not going to run it either.

But then again, I wasn't going to in the first place, so take my declaration for whatever it's worth.

Anonymous said...

don't forget you ran the tc marathon barely having trained. this is less than half that distance! you can do it! do it. - fannie

Anonymous said...

Noooooo. You can do it! I've only ran like 4 miles this week, thanks to the heat, my inability to get up before it hits 90 degrees, and my lack of a gym membership. - Lil' Latrell