Thursday, April 15, 2010

Know your disasters ...

I was like a block from Target when I heard my tire pop. It sounded like a soggy ba-dump bump punctuating the hilarity of trying to return an item from Mossimo's spring collection.

I totally blanked. Like BIG TEST blanked. And then solution neurons started firing. Tow truck? Are my rims going morph into modern art if I drive into the parkng lot? Am I going to have to take the bus home? Should I just walk away from this car and start a new life as one of those insufferably -- albeit ham-thighed -- bike hippies?

Then I remembered the whole spare tire choreography and got a little excited. If I could find mine beneath kitchen appliance graveyard in my trunk, I would have a pretty kickass experience on my hands: Changing my tire. In the Target parking lot. This wielding of tools brought to you by Merona and Converse. How Xhilerating.

But something didn't feel right, as I limped the Civic into the lot. Frankly, I'm not a "flat tire" person. That's just not the sort of thing that happens to me. I'm not, like, passing out pamphlets on tire health awareness, or wearing a black rubber bracelet. But I know my disasters and this one was out of character.

I'm more "spill coffee on a white shirt," or "lose important documentation." I'm like "Miss the bus. Chase it. Get splashed when someone drives through a puddle." I'm "zipper down all day", and "accidentally make a joke that might or might not have tweaked the person who's uncle just died."

And I was right. When I got out of the car, I realized I'd just run over a cardboard box that got jammed under my car.

By the way, I'm definitely a "person who brags on the internet that getting a flat tire is out of character, and then gets a flat tire." So we have that to look forward to.


Sproactually said...

1)Remove the vintage mr. coffees and waffle irons from your trunk.

2)Locate your spare, and make sure it is inflated. Nobody ever checks the spare and wind up surprised that it is flat when they use it 5 years after buying the car.

3)Purchase a four way lug wrench and put that in the car so you have a prayer of breaking the lug nuts free to change your flat tire.

4)have a great time in chi town, make sure you visit the shedd aquarium, and if you can stand all the old junk, which i love, museum of science and industry.

Clare said...

Apparently we are the exact same kind of person, disaster-wise. Does this mean I'm going to get a flat tire now, too? (Perhaps hitting a pothole and having my hubcap fly off, never to be seen again--which happened to me a few months ago--will suffice.)

Anonymous said...

Do you remember when you helped me change my tire in the parking lot at St. Thomas? It's when we realized that chivalry was dead on our campus as several guys walked past us on their way to the field house and one of them laughed and said, "that sucks." Only one guy finally asked if we needed help, but we were already done. Not that I like to play the I-am-a-girl-and-need-a-guy's-help card, but still... =)

-Red Lipstick

Christa said...

RL -- Gah! I wish I remembered that! It sounds hilarious! I love the idea of us being mechanical!

feisty said...

my insurance has a 1-800 for flats. i feel grown-up, knowing the number by heart. i memorized it after the baby was born, because my old Corolla had a flat at least once a week and with a kiddo, i didn't think i should be waiting around for knights in shining armor to change my tire.