Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Jumble bumbled ...

"Hey," he says, leaning over and fanning a paper in my face. With him wafts a smell, like he was sampling grocery store colognes again: Lemon Pledge tempered with nail polish remover and and 409. "I finished this last night in 10 minutes."

"The crossword puzzle?" I say, suspiciously. That's impossible. He might know the three-letter name of a former Notre Dame coach, but I'm sure he's never heard of an obi.

"No, no," he says. "The Jumble." Points to the scrambled-word game, where designated letters help spell out a hilarious caption for a crudely drawn comic.

I rip the paper out of his hands and look at the clock: 6:54 p.m. Four minutes later it was not only solved -- A HEARING AID -- I'd had time to consider the way Busch Lite affects the brain. I imagined a porous ham floating in a pale yellow liquid. Globby hunks eroding from the mass, and creating a chunky stew.

Ten minutes. Psshh.


Mach1 said...

Catty! I like it.

chuck said...

To eliminate any confusion, I would like to add a disclaimer to this post stating that it is NOT ABOUT ME.