i was 10 years old when the wolfgramm family of minneapolis was jackson fived into a spectacle of laffy-taffy wardrobes and synths. they dressed like human geranimals. their music was the perfect soundtrack to my fourth grade notions of what romance would be:
* standing in the same row during the christmas program
* my slumber party calling your slumber party, passing a phone slick with little caesars sweat
* an arrangement to couple skate during a slow song at an event at least a month away at skate country, the local roller skating rink
* the two of us, separated from the rest of the class, hiding in the hollow of that tree at cooke park during the class picnic
* having you flick a me note you'd folded into a football
* being partners for the situps portion of the presidential fitness test
* making eye contact at least seven times during sunday mass
i spun the jets' self-titled debut through my walkman enough times that cotton candy should have spewed from my headphones. here are the tracks that stuck out to me:
1. curiosity: "curiosity, i want to know. is she just a play thing? curiosity, i want to know: baby can i pull your string?" oddly, this song made me think of tampons.
*NOTE* i'm not sure why, but i always imagined lyrics to be dirtier than they were. to my way of thinking, debbie gibson's "shake your love" was about boobs; when janet jackson sings "you hold me in your arms, and squeeze me, you could leave me making me blue" in the song "when i think of you" from her album "control," i thought the squeezing part involved boobs.
[yet, the ll cool j song "i need love" didn't raise any dirty flags. cool james' sophisticated imagery was lost on me.]
2. crush on you: "can you hear what song i'm playing in the background?" i coo into the phone to adam s., stoked that i've kept him on the phone long enough to hear it. VICTORY! [what a terrible flirtation technique].
3. you've got it all: i'm at valley fair with fannie and princess linda and this is the song we choose to perform in their mini recording booth. not only do i sing the loudest, i am also the most off-key.
4. love umbrella: i think one of the male wolfgramm's sang this song and all i remember is "my. love. umbrella." highly skippable.
5. private number: this video included a magic telephone booth well-before bill and ted.
8. la-la (means i love you): this remake of a delfonics song may have been my first experience with an ear worm.