Unfortunately for him, if I know that store, that bag is two years expired and probably has a family of rats bunked down near the crumbs. The scientific anomaly: moldy potato chips. If it can happen, it would happen there.
This made me think of a few things:
1. How some people are invisible;
2. How he should have grabbed a PowerAde to go with it;
3a. How I totally did not care that he did that;
3b. Would I have responded differently -- that is to say, at all -- if I'd seen him in the store, stuffing peaches into the front of his pants?;
4. How much better pickle chips are;
5. How I've never shoplifted.