Sunday, September 20, 2009

I saw the sign ...

I spent the weekend near Brainerd, Minn., at a cabin with some friends I've known for 27ish years. That makes me shudder a bit. It's crazy too look at the graphic designer making a Bloody Mary at 11 a.m., gnawing on a mini pickle, and think: Huh. You were one of the naughtiest Brownies in the whole troop.

My friends have been going to Gull Lake for years. This is the first summer in my adult life that I've been able to leave town on the weekends. I rarely leave town. I hate being in the car for more than 3 consecutive miles. I go car crazy. I'll fade out, then shake myself into consciousness after an indiscernible chunk of time has passed, and wonder aloud: "Wait. If I'm painting my toenails, who's driving this thing?"

I got there late Friday night. I was within a 3-mile radius of the cabin for about an hour, according to my iPhone's GPS. Unfortunately, the navigation system assumes that you can read street signs. By the time I got there, the group was a little lit and taking turns dancing to the Ace of Base song "I Saw the Sign."

Fannie dances with e-RJ

Princess Linda and her husband Z.

Of course, with all this dancing, something glass was bound to break. Here Fannie cleans up the mess. In the almost-year that I lived with Fannie, I learned that she is a person who cleans while she's drinking and the second she wakes up from drinking.

Fannie probably brought that vacuum cleaner along for the weekend.

We spent all day Saturday on a pontoon or at various bars with dock parking. I'm not much of a day drinker. It worries me. Nothing good can come from starting the day with a Bloody Mary. Eventually I gave in, and cracked a beer. From there it was like this: Build buzz. Crap, I'm hammered and it's only 2 p.m. Drink water. Get tired. More water. Still tired. Drink beer. Crap I'm hammered again. Drink water for the rest of the day.

"Do you want a Bloody Mary?" Fannie asks. I looked at the clock. It was 11 a.m.

The Princess and the Z.

Polish and his wife Fry-baby.

Finally I get to try Jonna from the Real World's hair du away from the judgment of shoppers at Miller Hill Mall.

Peace be with you, three.

Polish looks suspiciously like GB Leighton when he takes his hat off. We thought maybe we'd get free stuff because of that. No dice.

Body of Christa.


Wahkonamama said...

This post made me giggle. I mean this in a completely non-snarky way - boating on Gull Lake is one of the most non-Christa-like activities I can imagine.

christina said...

Hahahahah! I'm laughing my head off! Like one of my Facebook friends said: "Are you in a boat?"

I think everyone thought I was kidding when I kept saying "This heat is so oppressive."

Futbol said...

you won't really be jonna until you a) get subdermal piercings, and b) go after all your friends' husbands. oh and c) have a threesome with the most obnoxious girl in your class.

chuck said...

Your motto should be, "I don't eat mushrooms, but I do want to live like one."

Anonymous said...

i see rj and i are going to have to start taking notes on so you think you can dance, and improve upon our dance moves.