Thursday, July 23, 2009

Ways in which I am like Sigourney Weaver ...


photo from here.

... As Ellen Ripley in Aliens (1986).

1. We both like to rock wife beater tank tops, and have a liberal approach to bras.
2. I, too, seemingly woke up in a pod with an orange striped tomcat I can't seem to shake.
3. If I found myself in a sound proof room, about to be impregnated by a slimy crab-like face hugging creature, I'd blame Paul Reiser, too.
4. Like Ellen Ripley, I prefer to do everything at the last minute. Whether it is my taxes, getting my oil changed or Christmas shopping. Just like Ripley and her last-second antics escaping LV-426.
5. I will sometimes wake with night sweats, and in fact look better under a mist of my own perspiration.
6. Neither of us is a stranger to an unfortunate incident in the late 80s involving a home perm.
7. I could transition to a normal robe and coffee lifestyle after a 57-year hyper sleep.
8. If left in my possession for more than a few minutes, a child -- like Newt -- would soon be wearing a charming layer of planet dust, alien goo, and sewer rust, topped with the hair of a pencil troll.
9. Although I've never been wronged by one, I, too, am racist toward Androids. I think it's because I've never bought a computer that lasted more than a year. And I always hold the remote control upside down.

1 comment:

Sproactually said...

I give this one of those facebook Thumbs ups...

1. We both like to rock wife beater tank tops, and have a liberal approach to bras.