Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Cat-atonic ...


It had never occurred to me to buy Toonses his own bed. He seemed so comfortable in makeshift sleeping spaces: On top of Chuck's backpack, in forts made of jackets that had fallen from the coat rack, atop the piles of New Yorkers and bank statements on the dining room table.

Recently, date night found us buying a vacuum cleaner, and Chuck upped the ante on domesticity. "We should get Toonses a bed," he said.

Pshaw. He'd never use a bed. He hasn't had a bed in 11 years, and look how well he's turned out. Damn cat is like a drunk, making do with his resources. Scrawling out across the floor in a 2-foot-long tomcat-colored boa, using a single high-heeled shoe as a pillow.

Cat beds are for cats, not for the fur-faced monster we are growing. So we got him something suitable for a German Sheppard.

It took him a few days, but now he never leaves his little bed. He stands in it, yelping orders like it's his throne. He sacks out in it for days at a time, opening a blurry eye just long enough to mime the equivalent of: "Get your effing camera out of my face."

I think the bed gave him mono.

6 comments:

Redneck Princess said...

Our cat, who is affectionately referred to as Big Fat Boy, has the same bed he had when he was an itty-bitty kitty. Only now he has to have a back leg and a front leg sticking out in order to fit in it. We thought about buying him a larger one, but then what would we have to chuckle about?

Whiskeymarie said...

I'm sitting in my dining room- if I look around from here I see 2 cat beds and one dog bed.
I'm choosing to call this decorating style "zoo posh", rather than "ugly".

Kristabella said...

I bought a cat bed for my 2 cats and they both loved it so much they fought over it. Like if one cat was sleeping in the bed, the other, calm, nice cat that loves everyone, would go over to her and BITE HER to wake her up so he could take the bed from her. It was pretty hilarious to watch.

But then the girl cat showed him and she peed in it so NEITHER of them could sleep in it.

So no more cat beds for me.

Anonymous said...

aww - i'm so happy for lil' toonsie. -fann

chuck said...

A bonus: My backpack no longer looks like one of those fur backpacks that Japanese teenagers use.

nanners said...

every single one of these comments paid me pee my pants. you readers are hilar. why are cat stories so funny?