Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Swelling may ensue ...

Running outside is a lot like the chemical reaction that husky boys with hockey hair and helmet acne had on me in high school:

Do I hate it? Or do I love it?


1. I run faster, but ...
2. I can't run as far.
3. One time a little girl looked at me and said to her parents "He's sweaty."Now I have to wear my sports bra on the outside of my long-sleeved T's.
4. One time I passed a group of three college-aged boys walking with a basketball. Then, at my turnaround, I passed them again. Then, when I got to my quitting point, they caught me. This makes me think I could have just walked.
5. Today Chuck said that I smelled like Lake Superior. He assured me that this was a good thing. [But what does the largest freshwater urinal smell like anyway? Don't answer that.]
6. I have yet to hit runner's zen while running outside. That part where Girl Talk moves my legs for me like I'm Girl Talk's marionette.
7. My arms swelled up so much that I couldn't remove my watch afterward.

1. That I was a chipper morning runner, hurdling recycling bins and sneaking sips of coffee from the travel mugs of businessmen waiting for the bus. [While the Laverne and Shirley Theme Song played, if I'm allowed to be picky.]
2. That, only when running, I lived in a neighborhood as flat as the aforementioned high school girl of yore.


Suber1 said...

Your arms swelled up? What?!? Not normal.

Maurey said...

Swelling? Is your Garmin too tight?!

I'm the opposite. I can't deal with the dreadmill. I need all the outside distractions to forget about the ache in my hammies.

London Road is my new favorite - or Leif Erikson out to Lakeside. Just rolling enough ...

christina said...

I have to stop exaggerating. My arm was sweaty and my watch was too tight, so I couldn't get it off. I didn't, like, have the early stages of a stroke.

Freida Bee, MD said...

My verification word is "strut."

I think that says it all. ;)

Kristabella said...

One time I was "running" outside (I use the term loosely since I think a guy in a wheelchair passed me) and this old Grandma was staring at me and yelling at me. But I had Culture Club's Karma Chameleon blasting too loudly in my iPod that I don't know what she was going on and on about.

I'm guessing it was because I wasn't fooling people with my "running" that was really a brisk walking pace.

feisty said...

flat doesn't exist in duluth.

i'm living vicariously through your running stories...so keep them up. can't wait to get the hell back out (on the roads, treadmill, whatev) and thump away.