Friday, May 22, 2009

Max and Jinx ... Friends forever ...

Chuck has a bit of a vacation this week, so Wednesday night we went with Chuck's Fannie to the Gopher, where an odd array of people were slow dancing to men singing country songs by women.

It kind of looked like someone shook loose a basket of socks without mates on the dance floor.

I was standing outside and a threesome joined me: two girls and a guy. One of the girls was slack and tottering. It was like she had signed over control of her limbs in exchange for a shot of jag. She was cuteish, with straight dirty blonde hair, and dressed for a casual night out. I noticed that she looked a lot like the other girl, who was rocking a pony tail, sweatshirt and jeans.

"Are you guys twins?" I asked.
The drunk girl got right up in my face. Two inches away. A snuggle she'd been doing just two seconds earlier with her boyfriend, and two minutes earlier with the other girl.
"Yes," she said. "And thanks for noticing that I look exactly like my dyke-ass sister. She doesn't do her hair or wear any makeup, and you notice that we look exactly alike. THANKS!"

I laughed nervously.

"Actually, I'm married with two kids," the ponytail said. "And I have paint on my jeans."

Meanwhile, Chuck sang "Dirty Love" by Frank Zappa, but used Barry White's voice.
First I sang "Kiss Me Deadly," which included a frenzied air guitar.
Then I sang "Irreplaceable," by Beyonce, which I've been preparing to sing for years. I failed miserably. It didn't help that the drunk girl jumped on stage and hugged me so hard that I couldn't breath. Her forearm pressed against my windpipe as she tried to share the microphone.

Today we took the bus back to the scene of the crime to get our cars.
Then we went to Hugo's for pizza.
Then we went to Star Trek, which reminded me a lot of the movie "Space Camp."


Anonymous said...

Space Camp is one of my favorite movies.

Kristabella said...

You should work for the Duluth travel board. You make it sound so fun and interesting!