1. the first bottle should be in the $12-15 range;
2. the second bottle, which should only be penetrated in the case of emergency, should be $7.
3. the packaging should be pretty.
i grabbed a german wine for my first bottle. it was a brand that said to me "swedish pop duos" "go-go boots," men with shag haircuts slow dancing, and white leather couches. perfect.
this dewy coed comes hopping around the corner, retinas still mere slivers from the photo shoot at the DMV marking her 21st birthday. she's chanting "polka-dot. polka dot." i look at the bottle i'm holding:
i show it to her, and point to it on the shelf. i think she squealed, but i'm not sure because i didn't have my dog whistle.
"is it good?" i ask.
"it's sooooo good," she says. "but don't get the yellow label, that's gross."
she sashays, gum chews, flip flops down to the end of the row. points at a bottle and squeals again:
"berringer! that's the stuff me and [whoever] were drinking that one night! weee! it was soooo goood!"
that's when i put the polka dot back on the shelf. i'm no wine snob. but something told me i didn't want to have what she was having.