Sunday, February 1, 2009

world's grossest straw ...

how i spent the past week:

MAKING FOODS

kale skillet pizza: after burning this two weeks ago, i tried it again, tweaking things here and there -- including doubling the kale. this had an interesting effect on my digestive system. i'd call this recipe "deep dish colon cleanse in a skillet." i swear you could use my lower intestine as a straw.


pad thai: chuck makes the best pad thai in the world. i'm not sure how he does it, and i don't want to know because then i might try it and break it. i think it involves ketchup.


READING
In the Miso Soup by Ryu Murakami: "In The Miso Soup" by Ryu Murakami is not the kind of book that you bring home to meet your parents. It is lurid. It is frightening. It is unpredictable. Murakami plucked ordinary words out of nowhere and arranged them into a simple, matter-of-fact horror. Like a smiling child with a box of crayons, humming the Dora the Explorer theme song, then showing you a crudely drawn crime scene with headless chickens and bloody axes and dead parents.

full review will be here.

The Fuck-Up by arthur nersesian : Let’s call this epidemic “runaway book.” This is where I begin reading something funny. I’m dog-earring pages like crazy. A writer’s voice is so clever and sassy that I start to imagine that my own word document privileges should be revoked.

And then, runaway book. This time, I actually felt my heart sink. I meant to mark the exact spot where it happened, in the latter fourth of The Fuck-Up by Arthur Nersesian, but now I can’t find it. I suspect it was around the part where the main character was getting annihilated at a literati party, or when he was eluding captors by climbing down fire escapes, over barbed wire fences and then cramming fistfuls of garbage down his throat for dinner.

You lost me, Nersesian. You really lost me.

full review here.

TV
"the hills": the entire cast of gossip girl and marissa cooper wearing the olsen twins as hats could not match the bitchiness of olivia shaming whit by telling her that she's too old to get involved with who kissed whom drama.

"nip/tuck": thoughts during the show. "is she going to bomb their office? no! wait! what? she's going to chop off her breasts in their lobby? with what? ah. of course. an electric carving knife."

this show never disappoints.

"the bachelor": i see that jason is falling for molly, and i'm assuming she will win. this is a bad idea. molly is on the equivilent of "the price is right." do you know how many women kiss the host of "the price is right"? do you think any of them would kiss the host if there were no cameras? if bob barker or drew carey approached molly at a bar, she would throw a flirtini in his face.

these two would never date if this wasn't a contest. god this show is embarrassing.

NEW TV ADDICTION
"damages, season 1": gah. i just tried to watch one episode, but these bastards have a season-long plot. WHY!? [i'm on number six ... oh, wait, that sentence took too long to write. now i'm on seven.]

READING THE INTERNET
"who is on twitter" [via] god. this is embarrassing. before reading this i had twittered twice in one day about running. but at least i'm not a DJ.

WATCHING MOVIE(S)
The Apartment 1960: despite being a total mess, fran kubelik has some great lines: "they just don't make shrimp like they used to" and "i can type like crazy, i just can't spell."

PRODUCT ENDORSEMENT

bosso nova: i have been spending my saturday nights lately making hippie vanilla sugar cookies and taste-testing bevvies. this week i hit on a winner with these, which taste like fruit and rose petals. when i'm alone in my car, i practice saying "acai" in case i ever have to say it out loud in front of anyone else.

PURE EVIL

2 comments:

Kaeti said...

I've started watching Damages, too. I just want it to be over — and yet I keep watching. It's the dry humping of teevee shows.

nanners said...

i can't let you go on believing molly will win. it's really sad how i know that she doesn't and that i even care. but i will tell you at work tomorrow.