Saturday, February 28, 2009

tales of a fourth grade romantic ...



i was 10 years old when the wolfgramm family of minneapolis was jackson fived into a spectacle of laffy-taffy wardrobes and synths. they dressed like human geranimals. their music was the perfect soundtrack to my fourth grade notions of what romance would be:

* standing in the same row during the christmas program
* my slumber party calling your slumber party, passing a phone slick with little caesars sweat
* an arrangement to couple skate during a slow song at an event at least a month away at skate country, the local roller skating rink
* the two of us, separated from the rest of the class, hiding in the hollow of that tree at cooke park during the class picnic
* having you flick a me note you'd folded into a football
* being partners for the situps portion of the presidential fitness test
* making eye contact at least seven times during sunday mass

i spun the jets' self-titled debut through my walkman enough times that cotton candy should have spewed from my headphones. here are the tracks that stuck out to me:

THE JETS
1. curiosity: "curiosity, i want to know. is she just a play thing? curiosity, i want to know: baby can i pull your string?" oddly, this song made me think of tampons.

*NOTE* i'm not sure why, but i always imagined lyrics to be dirtier than they were. to my way of thinking, debbie gibson's "shake your love" was about boobs; when janet jackson sings "you hold me in your arms, and squeeze me, you could leave me making me blue" in the song "when i think of you" from her album "control," i thought the squeezing part involved boobs.

[yet, the ll cool j song "i need love" didn't raise any dirty flags. cool james' sophisticated imagery was lost on me.]

2. crush on you: "can you hear what song i'm playing in the background?" i coo into the phone to adam s., stoked that i've kept him on the phone long enough to hear it. VICTORY! [what a terrible flirtation technique].

3. you've got it all: i'm at valley fair with fannie and princess linda and this is the song we choose to perform in their mini recording booth. not only do i sing the loudest, i am also the most off-key.

4. love umbrella: i think one of the male wolfgramm's sang this song and all i remember is "my. love. umbrella." highly skippable.

5. private number: this video included a magic telephone booth well-before bill and ted.

8. la-la (means i love you): this remake of a delfonics song may have been my first experience with an ear worm.

5 comments:

Beret said...

I had no idea that was the Jets' last name.

My friends and I did the ValleyFair singing booth, but we chose the romantic stylings of one Richard Marx ("Right Here Waiting").

Amy said...

did you catch the jets at the metrodome for the smoke free generation concert? WHAT A BLAST!!! i went when i was, like, 10, and then i started smoking when i was 20. i blame it all on the jets.

Mach1 said...

You used the world's most horrible phrase: earworm. Ugh.

Mary said...

When I think of the Jets, I think of their music video about infinity on Square One, which reminds me of that show's Thriller parody, which gets the line "Probability/don't you mess with me" stuck in my head for a week.

Now I kinda wanna check Netflix to see if Square One is on DVD yet.

Jodi said...

My first ever concert was The Jets with Limited Warranty at the State Fair. I think I even had The Jets' christmas album on vinyl. I was quite a fan.