Saturday, January 10, 2009

borne of coors light and an exceptional floor routine ...

for christmas we received a digital frame, the value of which i was already assessing before it was completely unwrapped. ma pista had kindly taped the best buy gift receipt to the box, knowing that the full holiday cheer doesn't really hit until i've manually improved upon my gifts.

no offense to the digital frame fans out there. brother and sister-in-law pista got one for the parents pista, and filled it with unseen footage of my niece mel in various stages of her golf swing. i'm sure that right now, ma pista has a chair lounged three feet in front of it and a single serving of microwave popcorn in her lap. it's probably her favorite movie. kudos, i say.

i was thinking of trading our digital frame for a wii fit. i like wii fit in theory. the commercials look fun. but i think it would take about three downward dogs before it ended up in our wii-game graveyard, the balance board in the kitchen covered in chopped tomatoes.

plus, while shopping in vain for wii fit, i remembered that the digital frame was for both me and chuck. i probably shouldn't come home with something about as interesting to him as a 24 pack of super absorbent tampons and an instyle magazine.

last night we went to best buy to decide which lonely electronic needed a new home. with no real glaring voids, we had time to wander and taunt those easily excited blue shirts who were keeping themselves busy creating wii fit accessory displays: wii fit sweatbands, water bottles, towels.

we ended up in front of the tivo boxes. with just a slight upgrade from our current tivo to HD, we would be able to stream netflix through tivo. while the netflix "watch instantly" feature is a little shallow on titles [think rickie schroeder in "the champ."] we are pretty easy movie watchers: chuck just needs a dinosaur flick -- the closer to clamation the better, i'm assuming since i've never watched one one him. i just need moving pictures and a starlet with bouncy hair.

then we looked at tvs. specifically a clearance HD flat screen, that, when the frame-shape gift card was applied to, would be relatively inexpensive. do we need a tv? no. in fact, i've long fantasized about being one of those pretentious assholes who says "i haven't watched tv in five years, but i've been reading this biography of mary queen of scots that i heard about on public radio ..." [this brilliance usually happens between seasons of my favorite abercrombie flavored reality shows.]

i'm told that one night we were watching the olympics a few beers deep at rt quinlan's and we'd made a very serious decision to buy a new tv for each other for christmas. this smells of coors light and an exceptional floor routine.

so we wandered between the two items, but didn't rule out fistfuls of itunes gift cards.

problems: a HD tv without HD tivo ... that's no fun. HD tivo without an HD tv ... well, that's just worthless.

i think we would feel an urgency to get the HD tivo if we got the tv," i said. "so let's just get the tivo."
"see," chuck said. "i think we'd feel more of an urgency to get the HD tv if we got the tivo."

that's when i noticed that purchasing HD tivo came with $100 off of an HD tv. i touched the sign with a shaky pointer finger covered with chipped nail polish. and when i said " ... why don't we get both?" chuck looked at me like i just told him i was going to sell my skin to fur traders. but if we were going to want to get a tv anyway ... why not get it now, when it was on clearance and $100 off? minus the frame and divided by the two of us.

so that's how we came to own a tv we didn't want or need and a new tivo box. and while it makes chad michael murray's pores look like soup bowls, the only way to really assuage the guilt is to think of it as our christmas present. when i consider how all of this unfolded, i really feel that ma pista is in cahoots with best buy.

getting the package of gluttony into my car was another story all together. [i'm still lugging around a few rubbermades from my old apartment. three seasons later.] chuck had to sit in the lotus position to fit in the front seat. [we didn't even need the wii fit.] not to mention that before my english comprehension skills kicked in this morning, chuck had already given me a detailed list of how this new set up is a pain in the ass. the only word i understood was "wires."

watching it feels like we aren't even in our own home. we aren't, like, going to host a super bowl party. i wouldn't even know how to make bbq chicken wings.

"it kind of seems like we bought a pool table," chuck said.


tamg said...

I know someone who has a pool table...

Talk With No Thought said...

I have to say i'm a bit jealous. Watching films on an hd is a whole new experience.

Whiskeymarie said...

I didn't think I wanted a fancy new TV either, since I account for only roughly 25% of the TV watching in my home, but by golly if I'm not in love with it now.
And, we have the Netflix streaming thingy with the Mr's Xbox which I have come to realize I love as well, kind of like how I learned I like cauliflower accidentally.

You'll get used to it and probably love it, much like I am horrified to admit. Reading is overrated, right?