Wednesday, September 24, 2008

when i lived in rochester part I ...

when i lived in rochester, i used to set aside certain days to play a game called "housewife." "we should play housewife tomorrow," i'd slur to fannie at 3 a.m. laying in the parking lot of the smiling moose. this meant she had to call talbots and say the displays would go naked for the day while she was virtually bidding on "the price is right."

i took the words in the most archaic 1970s, priviledge sense of the word. "playing housewife" meant that i cleared my schedule to eat pizza and lay on the couch. the only "housewife" i knew in the 1970s made great cookies and had a bathroom floor you could wash your face with. she was my model. her name was sharon and her sons were quite attractive and her daughter had the tan of a KFC deluxe meal.

i would call my friend hank, who could easily jigger his schedule, to come lay on the couch with me and wipe the pizza sauce off my chin. no showering. just good old fashioned leisure. sweat pants. drawn shades. the kind of housewife who wears sunglasses while watching "days of our lives." housewifery.

i don't know where i got this idea of the housewife. my mom wasn't one. from about two minutes where i started having memories, she was in college. it must have been from "the young and the restless," which taught me a lot and still guides my "hot or not" sensibilities. [victor? hot. paul newman? hot. criquet? hot.]

anyway, this is an elaborate post to say that tomorrow i am playing housewife.

THINGS I AM GOING TO IGNORE [aside from the obvious. ... like phones]:
clothes i need to take to goodwill
clothes i need to take to the dry cleaners
a refrigerator that needs to be liberated from some bad leftovers
hair that performs better when washed
tempeh burritos that i've been excited about making

sweat pants


Whiskeymarie said...

Lord I need a housewife day- BAD.
I am intensely jealous of your impending day of leisure. Eat some cheese in my honor, won't you?

Thanks in advance.

Anonymous said...

hey! i want to play housewife too!


Nikemom said...

i like your idea of housewife day. that is such a riot! i think you should declare it a holiday. :P

Beverly said...

That's not a housewife day! That's a single-girl-with-no-kids day. It's what housewives dream about.

Semi-Charmed said...

just have to say...
cricket: hot
sheila: not hot
danny romalotti (the original): double hot.
i was crushed when cricket and danny broke up.