Saturday, August 9, 2008

jay cooke and your goose ...

chuck made me go outside on thursday. i was reluctant: big plans involving my face pressed against the cold basement floor, far far away from light and noise.

he said picnic, park, books and i began plotting the invention of an adult-sized baby backpack that he could carry me around in. strangers could tug at my thighs and coo "now who's the big girl?" while i shyly hid my face in his neck.

oh summer. you are killing me with your outside and sunny.

we snagged a hodgepodge of yum at the co-op: naked juice, grapes, a mix from the deli, tea, cheese and crackers.

"did you feel uncomfortable in the co-op, being unshowered and wearing a bandana?" chuck joked after we saw upward of eight pastey stinkoids who looked exactly like me.

"no, but i was afraid i'd find you coaxing the wrong girl back to your car," i said.

chuck forgot his book, so he did a crossword puzzle instead. crossword and puzzle not pictured.

then he herded some geese. i used to rent paddle boats at this man-made artificially heated gooseshit hole called silver lake in rochester. [part of my duties included deflecting the advances of out-of-towners who thought this was a storefront for a prostitution ring. just like barnes & noble, apparently, where i was also offered grand sums of money to "do six."]

when chuck warned me about a mound of green squiggly excretment i almost stepped in, i snorted. dude, i spent two years flossing that gunk out from between my toes. in rochester there is a guy who makes art out of the stuff. [opinion of said art not available.]

look at em go!

then, spent, we layed on the picnic table. i was looking for gum. chuck was seeing who loved who enough to etch their initials into the wood in 1984.

you know, not everyone can roll their tongue like that. i also have a pretty cool trick involving a double-jointed elbow that will make you lose your lunch.

i did not lick the table. it just looks like that.

here is chuck's version of the photo.

this bridge also reminded me of rochester.

we went out to jay cooke state park to jump on the swinging bridge. we were in the neighborhood.

have i ever mentioned how much i hate taking photos of nature? i do it just because i feel like i should since it's pretty and i'm there. ideally, all of my photos would be of chuck taking photos of other things, funny signs and food.

my friend buddy was in town and i don't think i'd seen her since like 2003. here, in this photo by chuck, she is with her boyfriend, probably one of the funnier people i've met. he did a great monologue on walmart and another on speeding tickets.

we met up at oly's so she could see how the pioneer's bathroom had evolved into a safe and peep-free place. i told chuck i was going to practice moderation. he laughed. then i forgot my plan and things got a little wonky. buddy and her boyfriend and jcrew went home. i continued to not practice moderation at quinlan's.


Sproactually said...

"chuck made me go outside on thursday"

I'm a plumber, I could fix that.

Beverly said...

I can't believe Naked Juice is good for you when it has so much sugar in it. There. I said it.

Maurey said...

I think your Buddy and I worked on the UMD paper together.

christina said...

maurey -- she did do that, so probably.

Kristabella said...

I love that photo of Chuck "herding" geese. My nephew calls it "chasing them away."