Monday, May 19, 2008

superlative abuse ...

last week i rediscovered a love of corn nuts and probably should have been in some knife fights. i learned how to read a bus schedule and decided i no longer care if meredith grey and mcdreamy ever get back together.


BEST SANDWICH I'VE EVER EATEN
northern waters smokehaus: i like sandwiches. if you want, i can list right here the five best sandwiches within a short drive of this couch, but i'd rather list ten and by then it would just get boring.

on friday, my friend blitz told me about a flavor explosion from northern waters called the sitka sushi, and i set a date with this sandwich immediately. saturday, the first pang of hunger, and i had my own.

this thing is awesome. ginger. slivers of vegetable shaved to a sort of cole slaw consistancy. wasabi mayo and hot sauce. smoked salmon. it tastes like sushi on bread, a description that doesn't do it justice.

FOODS I MAKE
spicy three pepper hummus: this is excellent. i slathered it thick on a pita with cucs and tomatoes, black olives and feta cheese. best meal ever. and definitely spicy. i deviated from this recipe by using a food processor and only letting it sit for six hours, rather than 24.

LISTENING TO LIKE A STALKER
"i'm on fire" cover by bat for lashes: here is a sign that i'm a springsteen liker, but not a huge springsteen fan ... i like it better when other people do his songs. i do not like that bat for lashes changed "hey little girl is your daddy home" to "hey little boy is your momma home." this is stupid and annoying and homophobic and almost breaks the song. but the weird tinny instrument and her slowdown almost make up for the lyric change.

TUBE
"gossip girl": the story behind serena's "i killed someone" has the impact of when someone says "i'm too nice and i work too hard."

"the bachelor: engagement episode": i mistakeningly read a spoiler before watching the show where someone wrote: OMG, he picked the stripper. i thought that meant he picked chelsea. i guess one girl's stripper is another girl's first choice for matt the bachelor -- shayne. there wasn't a dry eye on the couch. don't get me wrong, i don't think they actually like each other. cute, nonetheless.

although, during the appearance on ellen, i had a hard time believing they were really 'in love' and that matt the bachelor hadn't spent the past three months putting away a suitcase of old milwaukee per day before "the price is right."

"battlestar galactica": for three seasons, adama has always done the opposite of what saul tigh has suggested. now, suddenly, cyclops tells adama to hold his fire on the cylon ship and adama listens.

in the absolute worst plotline in the history of television, galen has his leg amputated, which releases his inner peewit. laura roslind should smother him with a pillow.

MOVIES
"before the devil knows you're dead" 2007: this movie was directed by sidney lumet, who was married to gloria vanderbilt, to which i say: "i bet he got in her jeans." i wonder if that is actually funny?

the best thing to note about this movie is the director is in his 80s, and i imagine him sitting in a chair, a little google eyed, trying to find reasons for marisa tomei to take off her shirt.

"but we're supposed to be at a funeral ..." she objects.
"well just show some cleav then, you prude," he croaks.

decent movie: what happens when ethan hawk and philip seymour hoffman are brothers who plan to make a quick dime robbing their parent's jewelry store to get some quick and much needed cash and their mom ends up dead? lots of stuff.

"gone baby gone" 2007: i prefer ben the director to ben the actor and casey the affleck to ben the affleck. this movie was pretty great.

OPENED ANOTHER BOOK
"the position" by meg wolitzer: this book had me giddy in the first chapter, when the four children of sex-book authors discover their parent's famous book "pleasuring: one couple's journey to fufillment." while their parents are out, they examine the book, which includes an artists depiction of their parents in the various positions featured in the book.

awkward and very funny.

the story jumps ahead 30 years. the couple is now divorced and remarried and the children are grown. roz mellow wants her exhusband to agree to a reissue of the book. as soon as the story segues, i was immediately disappointed by what had become of the children: michael, the oldest boy, a hard working professional dating a young actress, popping anti depressants and combating his own sexual failure; holly, the oldest, has settled down after some drug-adled years; claudia is lonely and working on a documentary; dashell is a gay republican with cancer.

from there, the book becomes just average, highly forgettable, sometimes sweet. i think i read wolitzer's book "the wife" and liked it, but i don't remember it at all and i see a same fate for this book. unfortunate, because the first 22 pages are fantastic.

4 comments:

Whiskeymarie said...

That sandwich looks awesome- I see me having one on my next trip up. You would probably also like the Vietnamese sandwiches called "ban-mhi": Fresh french bread, Roast pork, pickled daikon radish, carrot & cucumber, jalapeno, cilantro and two different kinds of spreads that I can't really define except to say they're delicious.
Plus, there's a place on University that sells them for $1.50.

9th and Hennepin said...

Agree on your assessment of "Before the Devil Knows You're Dead." There is a life lesson we can all take from that movie, if your coked out brother calls you into his office and as he sweats profusely and tells you he has "an easy way" that the two of you can make some money...it's best not to listen to him.

Also agree on your the Brothers Affleck, I have never really liked The Ben and have only tolerated The Matt. I am also not sure when Casey became "the talented Affleck" but I think it probably occurred about 45 minutes into "Gerry" or maybe 45 minutes into the movie where The Ben played that blind superhero. Anyway, "Gone Baby Gone" is next up on the Netflix list, excuse me, queue.

christina said...

wm, that sandwich sounds awesome. and so does the dollar fifty part.

9th, so i guess neither of us has an affleck-tion.

kristabella said...

Matt is so not even into Shayne. And she's just in it for the exposure. Dude, her dad, Lorenzo Llamas, even called her out on that. As for Serena, she's an idiot. Why would you tell Dan "I slept with someone else" instead of this story. The sleeping with someone else is WAY worse.