Monday, May 12, 2008

'let's go get sushi' decoded ...



this past week i decided that i like tyra banks, veggie chips, and "this american life," the tv version.

I LIKE TV SO MUCH
"the hills" :

* for lo, "let's go get sushi" is code for "i hate" a) local music; b) audrina; c) sharing lauren's air space. she pulled the same code phrase back on laguna beach when she got stuck at that hippie benefit concert. personally, i use the phrase "i should have worn my other shoes."
* heidi seems to be experiencing something akin to personal growth. possible that the reward for extricating oneself from the toxic hills living arrangement, is a promotion and the thinly veiled sexual advances of an ogre looking boss?

"the bachelor, london calling:" i loathe these catty castoff episodes where they bill it using the word "dish." next week, on the bachelor, the women dish on matt. i forced myself to watch it anyway, and am more confused than ever that he did not pick amanda.

in case you're wondering, i CANNOT WAIT for the bachelorette season, starring deanna.

"gossip girl"
* i need to stop reading spoilers before i watch episodes so that when serena says "i killed someone" i don't laugh.

"the paper": the first issues has issues. adam throws the temper tantrum of a thousand mariah careys, then ditches out jazz-handing all over "high school musical" on ice; alex takes over, and leaves amanda standing her rapid blinking saying volumes; alex's facebook page reveals to amanda that he is "in a relationship." amanda multitasks: yoga, reprimanding her dog and talking on the phone simultaneously.

"the real world, hollywood": joey tells his roommates to cut him off after one beer, and reminds them that he is an alcoholic. but after one beer and some cartoonish muscle-flexing, he's ready for more! more! more! he drinks every liquid in the house, including an entire bottle of white zin -- cackling and referring to himself as a wino -- and seemingly at least a six-pack of something else. by 9 a.m. he is channeling the apex of "the shining," threatening to move out, packing his bags, pounding on doors. meanwhile, in PA, the stripper has learned that hootchie shorts are not proper attire for court.

"battlestar galactica": just when the show had taken a boring downward spiral, and i'd conceded that i have no business watching the sci-fi network anyway, starbuck manually removes a bullet from a crew members shin, her finger mining the wound for schrapnel while he screams. mutiny, we hardly knew ye. she takes a handful of cylons -- some known, some not -- to meet with the "good cylon" faction. the seven makes out with herself; one of the boomers dies. the president -- bald -- is one crinkly forehead from turning this show into star trek. she is slowly finding the cylon god.

MEALS TAKEN IN PUBLIC
valentini's: we started with suppli di rosi, rosotto balls filled with moz and prusciutto and served with sauce. tasted like it came from one of those booths at the county fair that serve their foods with cloth napkins. and i mean that in a really good way. i had penne ala vodka, which was described as having a creamy red sauce.

aside: when i worked at an italian restaurant, a few of us modified two different pastas -- the four cheese pasta and the chicken and sausage pasta -- to create a creamy pink sauce one penne with a whole mess of sausage. this is what i was hoping to get. instead, i just got large chunks of tomatoes. good, but not what i was envisioning. it made a terrific leftover. chuck had carbonara ala valentini which was very rich and very good and means that, hands down, prusciutto is my new favorite food.

MOVIE PROJECT MOVIES

"king of kong: a fistful of quarters" 2007: holy geeky goodness. billy mitchell, the reigning donkey kong champion of the world could only be a better foil with a camero and a 17 year old girlfriend who works at the dairy queen. this documentary about the quest to claim ownership of the donkey kong title made me a little weepy: the bad guy, cheesey tie, amply mulleted mitchell verses the all-american science teacher, musician, dad who plays donkey kong in the garage. it is awesome.

NON MOVIE PROJECT MOVIES
"a history of violence" 2005: i like david cronenberg because he makes throbbing bullet wounds, isn't shy about brain debris stuck to a t'shirt, and turned jeffrey goldblum into a very realistic looking fly. he seems to have no boundaries for gapes and oozes. in this movie, a small cafe's owner kills would-be robbers and the following publicity tips off the mafia to a made-man-gone AWOL. starts strong and creepy, but quickly turns hokey.

"eXistanZ" 1999: real versus reality in the world series of love. what happens when gamers become involved in a game that makes it difficult to tell what is real and what is not. this involves an orifice-like port that is pierced into the small of one's back and is attached to a fetus-looking blob with an intestiney cord.

READING THE INTERNET SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO
been there done that, well not all of that -- yet this still made my stomach wretch. kudos -- i don't have that response often. very graphic description of one woman's medical emergency -- and by medical emergency, consider this a warning.

4 comments:

Sproactually said...

Is that a Avocado green phone?? A real live western electric hand set?

Nice Teeth.

I'm on a roll here today, so far I've commented on a complete strangers underwear, now teeth... I can't wait to read the next blog on my list.

Flenker said...

both King of Kong and prosciutto are awesome. I may have to partake in each this week now.

kristabella said...

Can I just say that I USED to like Lo? But she's a bitch.

I read on TMZ that Matt was hitting on some TMZ staffer recently. So apparently whoever he picks, didn't really last, did it. Or he's sleezier than any other Bachelor.

diatribes and dish said...

I'm excited to try Valentinis. I've been to the one in Chisholm, and I always order the chicken cacciatore. So good.