Monday, March 24, 2008

locked in the target center ...

this week my landlord let me touch a fifty dollar bill. it was intense. we also cleaned the apartment and the whole place echoes like we're locked in the target center.

penne with asparagus and spring herbs, via vegetarian times cookbook: this pasta sauce is a food processed mix of vegetable broth, garlic, tofu, dijon mustard, tarragon, chives and parsley. it is served with steamed carrots and asparagus. apply grated parmesean cheese until the onset of carpel tunnel because the parmesean is the difference between eh and hmm not bad.

crest white strips: it takes about three days to stop gagging about the snotty gel glued to your teeth, but it seems to work quickly. and i have pretty dirty teeth.

hot chip, made in the dark (2008): less than a day after musing to myself, 'hmm ... i should find some french techno music. some obnoxious explosion of synthesisers to listen to" chuck happened to mention 'hey, you might like hot chip.' i played it without listening too hard, but my leg heard it and started jumping all over the place. not french techno, but british electropop works for now.

mountain goats, heretic pride: this recommendation came via flenker. for awhile i couldn't get past the singer's nasally 'they might be giants' voice. after some band investigating and multiple listens, it's growing on me. i am in a deep passionate love with the song "autoclave." it's very catchy, cute and clever and i don't even mind that it has been stuck in my head for a week.

joseph arthur, could we survive: i'd like to thank joseph arthur for releasing eps with the frequency that i change a roll of toilet paper. unlike the toilet paper, his stuff is anything but crappy.

fitgers brewhouse: as long as they continue to have wildfire on the beer menu, i will continue to have daydreams about doing laps in a wildfire pool. between the french fries, that beer and the way you can't throw a frisbee without hitting someone dressed in northface from head-to-toe, this is suddenly my favorite restaurant.

i had the beau burger: a burger with a layer of bbq sauce wearing a layer of cheddar cheese and raw onions. chuck's bison burger came with sweet potato fries -- and, aside from color, i couldn't tell the difference between mine and his. [definitely not as good as the sweet potato fries from the whistling bird.] the difference must be something that is supposed to trigger one of the dead spots on my tongue. we split turtle cheese cake, which i expected to taste like carmel-flavored refrigerator burn -- like it does when you get the same thing at burrito union. it did not. it was creamy and pretty damn good.

"million dollar baby" (2004): hey, it's old yeller. this surpassed kramer vs. kramer on my sob-o-meter. my entire sweatshirt was wet. now, finally, 9 years later i can finally stop seeing a boy when i look at hillary swank.

pizza luce: the only thing better than tuna noodle salad is when luce delivers to your doorstep it's take -- tuna caliente -- a jalapino'd version on what your mom made three times a week. i enjoyed mine with the spicy veggie nuggets -- which are chicken nugget like things, with a bunch of vegetables playing the role of "meat product." i also had a large brownine caked in peanut butter and a strawberry soda and enjoyed a solid two hours of sugar rush. thanks, luce!

"love is a mix tape: life and loss, one song at a time," by rob sheffield: the least pretentious book about music to ever be written by a person who loves music. for me, i would be physically unable to have kriss kross's "jump" [which, don't get me wrong, i could listen to] eventually segue into siouxie and the banshees in seven strokes, the penaltimate step being mariah carey's "love takes time." but this is why he gets to be the genius mixer.

the story that unfolds from this soundtrack is a young couple meets, they fall in love, marry ... and she dies suddenly and he's left with the mix tapes, music being the one thing they really had in common. i like how he writes about renee, pulling out the sewing and the hats and the alarm clock she ordered. the drinks and the songs and the duets in the car.

i'm not sure why i gave this only three stars. it just wasn't enough of something.

"hush," (2005): i learned quite a few valuable lessons, which i believe are applicable in all lifetime original movies:

*when you move back to your husband's small town, that woman he is "just friends" with has probably had romantic relations with him;
*when you tell her about your failed attempts at invitro, don't name the clinic. she will get a blonde wig, make ringlets, and use the gunk from your invitro freezer to get herself pregnant;
*if your new friend likes to hang out and listen to loud music in a tower, at some point you may find yourself dangling from the ledge of that very same tower;
*do NOT tell anyone if you have a peanut allergy, for if they are your secret enemy, they will make a sponge cake using peanut oil and then you are a goner.
*one way to really get another woman is to say: "i gave him what you couldn't ... no one wants a BARREN WOMAN!"

tori spelling's jewelry collection on HSN: i really thought tori would stumble onto this channel -- which is basically cable access with hairspray -- and she'd be wearing the clunky ring or the green gem necklace, earrings combo. no dice. just one humorless woman talking about "what tori likes" and "what tori wears" and "hollywood style" while a live model stood motionless in the background and words like "empower!" flashed across the screen.

"i'm SURE she's going to be on," i told chuck as we fastforwarded through the hour-long show. "no way," he said. "she's not going to come on here and sell this stuff." the only sighting came via small inset mug shot in the upper lefthand corner of the screen. WTF, tori.

trick, 1999: this straight-to-dvd movie has a very thin plotline. gabriel is shy and gay and meets a male go-go dancer. they spend the night trying to find a place to hook up. tori plays his best friend, an actress. i prefer her as the barren nina hamilton.

"the bachelor, london calling: in the first episode, matt the bachelor from england was sexually assaulted by a drunken tart and he whittled his selection down to 13 women and two trannies. should be a good season, as this bachelor seems to have a personality.

"what i like about you,": tivo keeps recommending this show, so i keep watching it. it is not funny or interesting, but the actresses [including jennie garth] have long bouncy hair. and really, i've liked shows for less.

"the wire" season two: i've found this season to be not as satisfying as last season. take me back to the projects. please.

1 comment:

Flenker said...

I'm glad you liked the Mountain Goats! It's funny, I was listening to the album once at home, and my brother asked if it was TMBG. I guess for some reason it never hit me that the voices are pretty similar. Weird.

I also liked Love is a Mixtape, it really resonated with me. I would probably bump it up to 4 stars, though. :)