mostly i just want to see how long it takes me to get roped into the plot: where i character name-drop in casual conversation and get the shakes on the weekends. how long until i consider driving to the mall of america to meet some character who is signing autographs while he drips makeup onto a card table near wet seal?
the soap opera cannot be "days of our lives." i did the whole 'marlena and the exorcism' of the mid-90s; it can't be "the young and the restless" because that's what i watched in kindergarten; it can't be "passions" because theresa, ethan and gwen upset my delicate equilibrium. their piercing voices measure on richter scales.
in preparation for my new hobby, i read some soap opera summaries, and one made mention of a text message killer. that sounds like it could hold my attention through five hours and 36 tampax commercials a week. but i'm open to suggestion.
what soap should i start sending fan mail to? [please feel free to include juicy plot points that may interest me.]