Friday, December 7, 2007

boy scoutish behavior ...

i read somewhere that it takes three weeks to develop a habit. well, somewhere was wrong. apparently it takes just two 16 inch disgusting downpours of snow to turn me into a walking, talking, sliding, packratting snow emergency kit.

when the sky burped out a single snowflake around 1:45 p.m. today i immediately assumed that 15.999999 more inches worth were in its wake. i threw down my laptop, my coffee, knowing i had things to do, places to be, and that within a half hour my car would be rendered obsolute. because now and for the rest of my life, there will ALWAYS be snow EVERYWHERE. and if their aren't mounds on the streets, there will be piles falling from the sky.

things that went through my head:
i don't want to walk anywhere
i don't want t-bone a suburu
i'd like to go to the YMCA
i don't want to park in a place where i will have to pay four punk ass fourth-grade boys to burrow a tunnel in the general direction of my cardoor after a snowplow buries my wheels

precautions taken:
i slipped into four layers of various fleece, nylon and down, boots, and a pompom hat knit for the head of a 7-year-old with chuck's name stitched in cursive on the cuff [chuck, apparently, being the seven year old it was made for 27 years ago]
i brought an entire change of clothes, shampoo, conditioner, shower gel, deep clean facial scrub and vanilla body spray
i filled a water bottle and snagged a blue machine naked juice
i stopped at whole foods and bought a salad, bread and an emergency burrito
i put running shoes and extra tube socks in my backpack

in addition to the things i usually carry:
a book -- this month "animal, vegetable, miracle" by barbara kingsolver
my nano
my camera
my phone
six tampons
two tubes of chapstick
a hoodie

i wanted to be prepared in case i got stranded somewhere, had to walk home from somewhere, craved mixed greens, became curious about barbara kingsolver's year of buying locally, needed clean hair, to smell like a college sophomore, became tired of what i was wearing or wanted to listen to MPR's in the loop.

this level of preparation required a 20 pound purse and a bulging backpack. i'd like to show today to the 18-year-old version of myself who once boldly proclaimed: "i'm never going to own a purse! i'll never need more than i can fit in my pockets!"

i carefully parked in the holiday center's ramp -- content to leave it there for three days if need be, wander the skywalk until some brain surgeon finds a cure for snow. live on popcorn kernals harvested from the floor, 25 cent handfuls of jelly bellys from the candy kiosk and haircuts [maybe even a PERM!] from cost cutters.

instead i went to the YMCA and by the time i turned on the treadie and began reading the subtitles on the dr. phil show, it had stopped snowing.

be prepared, my ass.

5 comments:

Maurey Pierce said...

You should see what Tuesday's drive home motivated me to pack into my car.

One dozen oatmeal-cranberry-white-chocolate-ship cookies, for one. And six magazines, from Fitness to The Progressive. Just so I've got something for every mood.

Aimee said...

That is some awesome preparation. You can totally scratch "be prepared" off your New Year's resoluation list. :)

Beverly said...

At the start of reading this, I thought to myself, "I think Dr. Phil says that thing about a habit taking three weeks to develop."
And then by the end of your post, you are reading the subtitles of an episode of Dr. Phil. It made me jump a little bit.

Wyldth1ng said...

Nifty.

Flenker said...

I love it when it cools down, because I can wear my sweatshirts with the big pockets in them, so I can carry more things. I have a problem with stuffing too much into my pockets. I need one of them European man purses.

I feel that this is somehow relevant to your post.