in recent weeks i have come to ignore the 24-hour span known as "sunday." i have taken to hitting the town on a saturday night, then sweating out the evil toxins in a fitful 14 hour sleep that lasts until approximately 5 p.m., when it is dark again. having not seen the light of a "sunday" in weeks, i've decided that anything that happens from the moment my feet touch party shoes on saturday until the pointer finger on my right hand involuntary dials pizza man on what was formerly known as sunday will henceforth be known as "supersaturday!"
i plan for this by making no plans. this is easy because the day formerly known as sunday typically finds me trapped at chuck's house, while my car is still snug in a parking spot near the scene of the previous night's crime. this is a good reason to remain in my pajama pants for the entire second half of supersaturday!
if i do make plans, they sound like this:
me: let's try bob bennett's new restaurant tomorrow night for dinner. if i'm not hung over.
jcrew: why, christa! that's a great idea!
me: if i'm not hung over.
jcrew: what time do you think.
jcrew: seven is late enough.
me: how about we make a window. somewhere between six and eight if i'm not hung over.
jcrew: can we narrow it down?
me: why can't we just have a window? if i'm not hung over.
so. we started supersaturday! at pizza luce for the cars and trucks cd release. it had been relatively easy to coax jcrew to this bar, as the band has some ties to her high school friends. [any other night i'd need to jiggle a sample of kiehl's body polish in front of her face and hope she didn't accidentally smell a hippie before i got her through the door].
we were parading down lake avenue when the pixie took a digger on what, for her sake, we'll call "slippery cement" [read: bricks]. jcrew sprawled spread eagle on the sidewalk, bemoaning the dislocated tailbone that ended up in her throat and the stigmata that had been burned into her skin while catching her fall.
"can we laugh about this tomorrow?" i asked her.
"we can laugh about it now," she said.
gah, can you say trooper? what's next: sage incense, dreadlocks and delivering meals on wheels? that set the tone: for the rest of the night her mood was only tested by a large woman who kept ramming her oversized purse into her spleen.
"there are about 50 mean things i want to say," she scowled with clenched teeth.
later i'd find jcrew among the lucians, sharing a cigarette and a smile. and when she started to get cranky, we pointed her in the direction of pizza by the slice and gave her a little shove and all was right with the world:
i woke at noon on supersaturday! without a single throbbing internal organ mucking up my will to live. pounced out of bed, shielding the sun from my eyes. dear sweet baby jesus, i found the elusive combination of perfect amount of beer to have fun and yet not feel like i'd spent six hours hate-criming myself.
i decided to walk the 16 blocks to where i'd stowed my car for the night. down one street, over nine, down three, over three ... unfortunately, i was still wearing my prettiest of party shoes. it took five blocks for the balls of my feet to feel like i'd been whittling away at my skin with a nail file. the bruising set in around block nine. the crawling at block 10.
a man said something to me when i crossed in front of the kozy.
i had ear buds jammed in my ears, the shout out louds jammed into my soul.
he licked his lips.
"i can't hear you," i said and kept walking and thought "imagine what the movie flashdance would have been like if jennifer beals wore an ipod past the other workers before a heavy duty welding shift."
jcrew and i decided to go to dinner at midi, the new restaurant that replaced bennett's unbeknownst to bennett's customers. the place, too, was teeming with card carrying gitchi gammi blue hairs.
it took about two hours for us to fill our gulletts with, between us:
a cheese tray that contained an unidentifyable purple food
peacan coated salmon and mashed potatos
a chuck of chicken that had vomited cups and cups of olives
now you know why they [re: i] call it supersaturday!