Wednesday, September 12, 2007

a funny thing happened in my eyeball ...

i opened a new pair of contacts a few days ago and stuffed them into my eyeballs. they went in easily and i was impressed. usually i spend about 15 minutes in front of the mirror stabbing at my face, bloody tears gushing.

today i decided to wear glasses. get a little fresh air into my pupils. i removed my contacts, and put on my glasses.

i couldn't see anything.
i took off my glasses.
i could totally see out of my right eye.

i assumed that my vision had corrected itself. that i was healed. that i'd only have to wear a contact in my left eye for the rest of my life. i'd be half perfect.

i experimented.
glasses on. blurry.
glasses off. half blurry.
left eye closed. sharp, clear vision.

"it's almost like i'm still wearing a contact or something in my right eye," i mused.
chuck walked closer. peered into my face.
"you are," he said.

sure enough. i still had a contact in my eye. this means that i have been walking around wearing three contacts for the past few days. that would explain the headache. but it doesn't explain how it happened.


Whiskeymarie said...

Well, you could look at this situation as:
"thankfully I didn't have to go to the obgyn to solve the mystery THIS time..." (wink)

Sorry, couldn't resist.
If it makes you feel better, yesterday I only put makeup on one eye and almost left the house looking like that. And I wore my underwear inside out all day last Friday.

christina said...

god bless ya, wm.
i was trying to work that specific relief into the story and didn't know how to word it.
i think you captured it perfectly.

Domestically Disabled Girl said...

LMAO!!!! some day i'll tell you all about the time i figured out i was wearing not one, but two feminine hygenie products at the same time.

good times, good times....

Anonymous said...

this has totally happened to me before. i, too, thought my vision miraculously corrected itself. i got all excited as i envisioned all the broadcasting celebrities that would want to interview me...oh well.