Sunday, September 16, 2007

'faced book ...

i do not plan to do anything today that requires from me to stray from this outfit:

thin t'shirt from american eagle, which provides a not-so accurate 3D effect on my upper torso; chuck's flannel pajama pants, which he is going to have to harness the strength of a thousand lightning bolts in order to reclaim ownership; urban outfitters hat on day six of the hat-from-urban-outfitters marathon i'm competing in.

"i could drink," i said when chuck got into my car. and he agreed to participate. i'd not drank since the wilco show* and in the 10 days that followed i felt myself becoming prudish and wholesome. it was uncomfortable. kind of like cramming myself into a pair of size 2 skinny cordoroys and then poking at my own muffin top with a nail file, uncomfortable. it seems that unless i consume a certain amount of the drink over the course of the week, i start to channel the pilgrims. covering my ears when i hear the eff word.

the first week was easy. then one night i was standing outside of the hammond liquor store and two guys with dreadlocks and quilted pants stumbled into the parking lot. aw! fun! i thought. five minutes later a similarly dressed woman on crutches followed. "i think they ditched you," i told her. "of course they did," she said. "they're my boyz."

it hit full-fledged envy when chuck told me that inside the bar, the woman had said: "see you all in a few weeks!" and a man had said "this place is going to be totally different when you get back. it's going to be mahogany."

i missed drunken rambling.

as soon as i knew there was a tall beer in my future, i got a little punch drunk. chuck said the word "houkah" and i laughed for 15 minutes straight. anyway, i was a two-beer wonder last night, catching a buzz in the manner of a drinker half my age and with half my experience and a fourth of my body mass. it helps that i was still a little drunk from the slivovitz fumes of last weekend.

i don't tell you what i like enough. i'm fixing that with today's episode of 12 second review. these three items have taken up real estate in my heart.

this mint-flavored 15 spf chapstick from whole foods makes your kisser tingle.

don't let the label fool you. these are not mints. they taste grape nerds mated with flintstone vitamins. deeelish.

here i defer to chuck's accurate assessment: it feels like you're using a flannel shirt.

so, to the -- i'm assuming -- delight of my 26 friends, i joined facebook yesterday. i needed to find a reason to spend more time online, connecting with my peeps. i haven't had this much fun since i joined myspace. i've spent my day updating my status:

wearing pajama pants
looking for a chili recipe

i now have a new avenue to spread my enthusiastic and spamish graffiti at 3 a.m. after a night at quinlin's. where are those scientists with that computer with a built-in breathalizer i ordered two years ago?

i'm thinking of eating a pumpkin pie blizzard.
and i'm searching for a really good spicy chili recipe.

* i did have a glass of whiskey and strawberry fanta on friday night. i'd advise against this combination in the future.


Fannie said...

shyt! Sorry! I forgot to email you the recipe. Did you make it?

christina said...

i found something online that i ended up completely modifying to match my capabilities.

it turned out *awesome*. accidentally. although i did so much freestyling that i'm not sure i'll be able to recreate it ever again. thankfully i took a basic level of notes.

amy a. said...

due to your influence, perhaps i will join facebook. so far i have resisted the impulse, believing it was only for students. fuck students!

christina said...

do it, amy a.! you can be my 33rd friend!

havington said...

i want to poop at your house so I can use the flannel shirt on a roll.

Flenker said...

if you would like to be my friend on facebook, I would like that. Just do a search for Flenker, I'm the one in Texas. Or you could add Chris in front of that to make it easier. Then, we could play online Scrabble!