Monday, August 13, 2007

wilco? more like WON'T-co ...

chicken pox. can you say "psychosomatic?" i won't believe it until i personally receive one dried, flakey piece of red pox via nels cline in my mailbox. and if he does have chicken pox, here's my nonmeducated opinion: lower your naked keister into a trough. marinate in an oatmeal bath, and throw back a few shots of calomine lotion and then grab your guitar because -- and you know i hate to dabble in hyperbole, but -- YOU JUST RUINED MY ENTIRE SUMMER!

i have been billing the wilco show at bayfront park the "premiere event of the summer." i rarely get excited for things that aren't my birthday or slathered in guacamole, and especially not a concert. concerts of the formal kind -- the ones not on a road blocked superior street or that begin before midnight, as i've said before -- typically involve me bobbing my knees and looking around and wondering why i'm not having more fun. but this! wilco. outside. the soles of my feet dirty from spinning circles in the pukey grass to "heavy metal drummer." $8 bayfront pale ale staining the front of my jeans. and people. oh the people. and a fun duluth summer night.

everyone i know was going to wilco, except one very special person.

"i hate wilco," jcrew said.
"no one hates wilco," i corrected her.
"yeah, well, i hate how everyone likes wilco," she said.

fannie was even going to come to town. it takes more than just me to lure my friend further north than roseville. it takes me and jeff tweedy. wilco, do you know that i haven't seen fannie since thanksgiving?

i like my gratification immediate. not on september 4th. "postponed" is just a synonym for "fun-sucked." now the show previously known as "the premiere event of the summer" is just "that thing that happened in the almost-fall." i mean, i'll still go to the next show. but i better see scarring on that guitar-player's cheek. i want evidence that he was at quaratined at home, in bed, watching the game-show network, clawing at his skin and ruing the kindergartner who breathed on him.

i'm not mad, wilco, i'm just disappointed.


Fannie said...

Wilco, don't worry, Christina has waiting since Thanksgiving to see me...she can wait another 3 weeks. This will give her time to clean her apartment. :) Plus we can celebrate her birthday.

p.s. Roseville? It's rare that I even make it as far north as 394.

Starfire said...

In your honor.

Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm said...

How dare they. (as my favorite band of the past decade, that lack of performance would injure me greivously)

Love the new look- It's better than Easter. (not damning with faint praise, truly sincere despite the jab at the former pink)

viciousrumours said...

I have no idea who Wilco is, but if the person who got the chicken pox is an adult, which I'm assuming he is, satisfy yourself knowing that the older you are when you get them the more you suffer. Get them as a first grader and you itch for a couple of days and you get to stay home from school...get them as an adult and you run the risk of getting them in some very un-fun places, like the undersides of your eyelids and inside your throat and other..ummm...areas.

Poor guy is probably wishing he were in Duluth.