Friday, June 29, 2007

it's so ... naked gun ....

jcrew and i were sitting outside talking to a mutual acquaintance. just the usual stuff: why she had to purchase 30 bananas and was wearing virtually the same outfit as her boyfriend and why she won't shop at the super walmart.

about 30 feet away was a homeless couple -- one of the more recognizable in the hillside -- i'm sure you've seen them. they were playing with a mangy-looking cat when we sat down.

"i thought that was a squirrel," jcrew said.
the cat, too, is familiar to me. my hillside my home, and all that.

more chatter, our mutual acquaintance leaves for a weekend in wisconsin and jcrew and i continue to jabber. we see a pregnant woman running down the street, fetus bouncing.

"gross," jcrew says.
"i think i just got pregnant looking at her," i say.

two police cars come urking to a stop near the couple. one pulls up on the sidewalk, the other screeches to a stop inches from the first car's bumper.

we see our mutual acquaintance walking toward us. she'd been gone for at least five minutes.

"did you guys see that?" she asks.
"that domestic going on like 10 feet away?"
we shake our heads.
"when we drove away, that couple was totally beating the crap out of each other."
"wha?" i say.
she nods.
"and you two ...." here she makes the universal sign for chatting with her hands has mini jcrew and pista puppets.

our mutual acquaintance was the one who called 911.

this cracks me up. i'd actually like to see the whole scene on video. jcrew and i all caught up in our own little blah blah blahler lands and behind us, rocky X: hillside brawl and a mangy cat. legs flailing. punches thrown ...

it's so ... naked gun.

the last time is saw these two they were laying in my front yard in a pile of snow. they seemed a little drunk.

"why'd you cheat on me?" the woman asked, rolling on top of the man.
"(indiscernable grumbling)," said the man.
"you cheated on me," the woman accused.

this pillow talk went on for much of the afternoon.


Bobby said...

I saw a homeless couple fight one time. The lady had a little liquor bottle, and she smashed it on the curb, and slashed the guy with it. He was so wasted, he barely moved.

Krupskaya said...

Ha! I called 911 too, just after waving to you two. Seeing him kick her kinda pissed me off.

amy a. said...

we should start a central hillside crime club.

christina said...

for real, yo. i just heard about the most recent incident.