1. shy. kung pao!
2. anti unsolicited advice
3. pro advice giving
5. product stealer
6. for as long as i can remember i've had a red thread-like gash in my left eyeball. [see photo]. my high school boyfriend semper fi referred to it as "the fish hook" and frequently mentioned it in romantic love letters from basic training. he even had a little hand gesture that coincided with this imperfection.
on day in health class my senior year, a horde of us were sitting around talking about the fish hook in my eyeball. "ask mr. z why you have that," my friends coaxed. when class began, i raised my hand and told mr. z about my eyeball and asked him what would cause such a blemish.
"well," he hemmed. "sometimes, at least in old people, blood vessels in the eye are popped if you push too hard when you're going to the bathroom."
my classmates gave me a look of blatant repulsion. i'm certain every single one of those little jerks pictured me on the toilet everytime they looked deep into my eyes. thankfully, it takes more than a guy in khaki shorts a polo shirt tube socks and a whistle around his neck to embarrass me.