1. my shower leaks. all of the clothes on my bathroom floor are sopping up 10 pounds of water and leg hair. getting out of the shower is like stepping into a kiddie pool. my landlord has been using my frequent vacancies to caulk the shit out of it. he is the worst caulker ever.
2. my laptop sounds like it is revving up for moon exploration. everything takes five minutes to load. i can't download the photos of myself in prom dresses that i emailed myself. sometimes my internet browsers unexpectedly shut down.
a). my itunes won't start at all. this makes musical discovery tricky. when i again start mooning over john mayer, you'll know why.
3. my dvd player choked on a chick flick starring cameron diaz, jude law, the titanic chick and jack black. now it won't play one starring scarlet johannson, whom i prefer to the aforementioned. i'd watch it on my laptop, but ...