Wednesday, March 21, 2007

you can't do that on television ...

chuck and i spent an hour today discussing 1980s pop culture. we do this often and with a level of passion befitting the decade. when we talk about the 80s, we do it with a sort of free association stream of consciousness. his significant interests followed by a story which reminds me of something that interested me and another story.

hart to hart? chuck asks.
hmm, i tell him. a little pre-me.
he explains a complicated plotline: married rich detectives with a quirky butler.

quirky butler, i hem. mr. belvedere?
sort of, he says. cagney and lacey?
ah, i muse. the original indigo girls.

here i hum the opening theme to the a-team.
he laughs.
we used to play the a-team on the playground, i tell him.
hmm, he says. i think you've told me that. and you were murdoch?
i was murdoch, i confirm.
of course, he says. who was BA baracus?
not sure ... i think. bad ass baracus?
uh uh, he corrects me. bad attitude baracus. you couldn't say 'ass' on tv back then.
right, i recall. you know what my first favorite show was?
huh? he asks.
240 robert, i tell him.

and here i have him stumped. he's not heard of this LA-based show. and frankly, all i remember is helicopters and a male lead that made me woozy with as much amore as a preschooler can possibly feel.

i think he was the guy who was on the scarecrow and mrs. king, i tell chuck.
i remember thinking simon & simon and magnum pi were the same show, he says.

but it is 240 robert that has me distracted for the rest of the day.

so mark harmon was my original celebrity crush. the dreamy teacher in summer school. dimpled grins and sexual tension with mrs. king. even today, i can see the appeal. what astounds me is that 27 years later my tastes remain the same.

i considered other celebrity crushes from the early 80s, omitting the obvious longing for kirk cameron, the coreys, and christa plus michael j. fox written on a trapper keeper. i begin with mark harmon and make my way through my catalogue of preprepre pubescent fascinations.

victor from the young and the restless. i'm not sure if it was the way he saved nikki from a life as a stripper, or if it was the raspy accent of indiscernable origin. the mustache?

ponch may have been the chips heartthrob, but i was really more into john.

marc singer as mike donovan on "v." all i remember from that show is people ripping the skin off their faces, and this man. i scoured tv guide to find out what his real name was. this was before wikipedia.

alasdair gillis of nickelodian's "you can't do that on television." finally, someone in my own price range instead of these sick television daddy complexes. i prefered alasdair, sweet alasdair, with feathered hair. but mostly it was the freckles and smart ass responses to barfy that killed me. i remember his pucker when he was doused with water or green slime. i knew that was what he would look like kissing me.

pat mastroianni as joey jeremiah on the original degrassi junior high. it was either this pbs show or all star wrestling. i flipped back and forth. joey jeremiah wasn't cool. but he was in a band.


Beret said...

*Victor*??? For real? I loved Y&R (thanks Mom) but I believe I was all about Brad back then.

I lived for V, and I still have nightmares about when that lady gave birth to the V baby and it stuck it's tounge out.

Joey Jeremiah did have a certain charisma, and he was certainly more attractive than Snake or Wheels.

Aside from River Phoenix and one Corey (Haim I think? Feldman was disgusting), and Michael J. Fox (I might have taped and rewound the Teen Wolf movie trailer commercial a few or a thousand times while listening to The Power of Love from Back to the Future and kissing my pillow...or not) Ralph Macchio was my entire world. I think I used to babysit and pretend that the baby I was watching was our love child. What, that's not weird is it?

fannie said...

Dude, Mark Harmon wasn't Scarecrow. It was Bruce Boxleitner.

fannie said...

also, he's married to Melissa Gilbert now. :),%20Bruce

christina said...

i remember a few romantic episodes of y&r with a shirtless brad. i can't lie, i also liked paul though.

oh boy. river phoenix. i definitely mourned his passing. ... for some reason i never got into the karate kid, although he is pretty much the epitome of what i looked for in a celebrity crush.

also, jason bateman. even in his silver spoons era. and especially now.

and effers. i sensed i was getting that scarecrow reference wrong. thanks for the correction, fanster.

Anonymous said...

ahhh, 80's tv. when life was so much more innocent. good stuff. oh the crushes i had back then.

and ralph maccio was the karate kid, not river phoenix.

nice post. are you slowing down or something?

christina said...

my love for river spawned in "stand by me." whereas my love for ralph was spawned during the scene at "golf n stuff" during kk one. oh boy.