she: chicken with peanut dipping sauce and rice?
he: that would be the fifth day in a row that you've eaten chicken. and you hate rice.
she: with enough soy sauce, i'll eat anything. the idea of me making chicken scares you.
he: a little. pizza?
(little do they know that ordering a pizza in the aftermath of a snowstorm is difficult)
she: i'd like to make an order for delivery?
pizza girl: address
she: blah blah blah west fourth street.
pizza girl: (pauses) oh. we don't deliver to west addresses.
she: um. oh.
pizza girl: try our west location.
she: oh. kay?
she: they don't deliver to west addresses.
he: but they're like a mile away. the west location is on grand!
she: uh huh. can i have the phone number for the west place?
she: um. i'd like to make an order for delivery? but, see, i live like a mile from your east location. but they say they don't deliver to west addresses.
pizza man: do you live east of mesaba?
she: (thinks 'never eat shredded wheat' and deduces ...) yes. yes i live east of mesaba.
pizza man: try our east location.
she: can i have the phone number for the east location again?
she: um. i just tried to order a pizza for delivery, but you told me you wouldn't deliver here? but i only live like a mile from you. and the west place doesn't deliver east of mesaba.
pizza man II: where do you live?
she: seriously. just off lake.
pizza man II: please hold.
(she holds. and holds. and holds.)
pizza man III: hello?
she: um. i was on hold?
pizza man III: yeah. i'm a totally different guy. what do you want?
she: i'd like to order a pizza for delivery. i live like right off lake. can you deliver to me.
pizza man III: (sighs) i guess.
she: okay, i'll take the howdy pizon without mushrooms.
pizza man III: (sighs) i'll get there when i get there.
(she hears the tail end of the dr. phil show playing in the background as she hangs up)